Where Is The Body Buried?

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you're sick and twisted, but beyond that you have probably noticed an abrupt shift in pattern. As of Friday, it would almost appear as though I have taken over this blog. In fact even the introductory post, which hails the addition of my wisdom to these pages, could be argued to be a fake or posted under duress.

While it would be fun to mislead you into thinking I have hijacked President's blog for my own nefarious purposes, I'm not really interested in the responsibility of keeping all of his readers entertained. Besides, I've already installed spyware on your computer and can monitor everything you do that way.

No, I'm here to report that he is alive and well, or at least alive, and has simply succumb to the fate of everyone who is dependent on technology...his internet is down. This is what happens when you pirate your neighbors' wireless and they turn out to be savvy enough to put a password on their router. He is also using this lack of connectivity to draw an increasing number of pink dragons in a variety of famous guises. They seem to be getting closer to the release of their iPhone app since they have ramped up his drawing regimen. Nonetheless, at some point he must return because there is no way I'm going to be able to do five posts a week, much less ten. Maybe he'll be able to talk his new bosses into paying for his own internet line, because what fun is it to sabotage a guy's blog if he's just going to hand it to you?

See, here is is praying to his god after WhiskyFest.

-- Posted From My iPad