Angry Birds

angry birds, man. my roommate, travis, first brought it to our apartment via ipod touch and i mostly made fun of him for spending time with it. partly because angry birds meant it would be a few more minutes before he was up to go outside for a smoke with me. but also because i usually can't stand apps-- despite the fact i'm an iphone app illustrator.

anyway, conan o'brien was angry birds-ing it up in one of his semi-viral youtube commercials and i'm not going to lie: that ace ventura-haired ginger convinced me. i've always liked him, but had no idea how powerful his casual statements were on me till angry birds.

so i played it on travis' ipod touch and damn.

it's addictive. very addictive.

if you've never played angry birds, it's a sort of physics-based puzzle game with hundreds of levels which ask you to slingshot a variety of birds at green pigs who sometimes have mustaches and helmets.

why? because those pigs stole the angry birds' eggs-- that's why.

little blue birds can split into three birds mid-air, if you so desire. and yellow birds can fly at warp speed upon command. white ones drop explosive eggs (and are also my least favorite of the birds), and the black ones are sort of like kamikaze birds. red ones don't do anything but cause standard damage upon impact-- but they all have a common purpose of destroying castles made of wood, glass, cement, and sometimes beach balls, while murdering those thieving pigs.

the angry birds are one species-- despite their different colors and capabilities. and i get why they're angry.

when you look at the game, these birds are risking their lives-- and often times losing everyone-- to kill off the pigs that stole their eggs. the black ones fly in and explode themselves, the yellow and blue ones crash into walls as hard as they can-- ultimately killing themselves as well.

all in all, they probably lose more lives than they save. especially since the the white ones-- the only ones that don't seem to die-- use their eggs as bombs.

but this horrific battle is in the name of their future children. the baby angry birds. the angry birds who are not yet angry.

but they will be.

because they'll hatch to find dead parents. they'll be forced to grow up alone, hunting for their own worms, and teaching themselves how to fly. and it will be a miserable world-- but they'll survive because they're headstrong. and one day, they'll lay eggs as well.

and those motherfucking pigs will steal them, too.

and the cycle will repeat.

oh, the life of the angry birds.

the only reasonable excuse not to buy the game for your iphonepadpod is that you are saving money so that you can buy the snapdragon app when it's released.