Intoxicated Poop Segment XCI +I

Ok, seriously who uses Roman numerals anymore, aside from Latin scholars and the guys that have to do film credits? Think about it, not only is it long, cumbersome, and unreadable by 99% of the people on this planet, but it's just old. Yes, OLD! And we all know how the majority of the US of A hates old stuff. Oh sure, we make old stuff stylish by labeling them antiques, which is just a way to get $2000 for someone's old desk found in a basement that originally cost $5 in 1918. Well, at least it isn't particle board right? Seems to me these things are just bought as sad reminders of when stuff was built with real wood and didn't look the same as the stuff in your neighbors' living rooms.

And then we have Historical Societies, that try to keep old buildings intact for the sake of maintaining a connection to our past, when what we really want to do is tear it down to make something bigger, taller, and less interesting. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good to preserve some of these things. I was amazed when I travelled in Europe at how old and historical everything was, and it wasn't even run down or falling apart. If the Europeans can keep things looking nice and functional for a couple hundred years, why can't we? Then maybe the historical people wouldn't have to look like a bunch of crazy people trying to preserve a half torn down farmhouse in the way of a new highway overpass, so they can call in anthropologists to come in and dig up old outhouses to find out what we threw away and put old poop under a microscope to see what we ate.

Which brings us neatly back to poop, intoxicated or otherwise. If that wasn't enough poopiness for you, check out The Poop Report.

All factual sounding data was thoroughly researched by a crack team of LOLcats.