Happy Anniversary, California

but please stop referring to it as "earthquake weather"-- it's actually just the switch to fall. in fact, we have roughly 10,000 earthquakes every year and the weather changes, so there can't be a such thing as "earthquake weather" unless you mean all weather.

i will say that we've only had three mention-worthy earthquakes and they all happened over a span of one hundred years. april 18, 1906; october 17, 1989; and there was one in los angeles in the 1930's. short of that, we've had a million "is my upstairs neighbor moving furniture again?" styled quakes that half of us don't notice and the other half tweets about.

in 2008, i was on the phone with my girlfriend of the time while taking a smoke break outside the liquor store. it was a long distance relationship and during the horrible years of full-time school and three jobs-- the liquor store being one on the grounds that it paid me in not just dollars but free liquor, cigarettes, beef jerky, and endless conversation with stranglings.

anyway, she said her car was shaking and i asked if it was off. she said it was parked and shouldn't be shaking-- we might have debated about what that meant for a while, but i've never owned a car and probably had nothing to offer, so i went back to work and told her i'd call her afterward.

of course, right as soon as i stepped inside, my boss asked if i felt the earthquake.

i thought that was just the muni passing by.

"hey," i called her back to tell her why her car was shaking.

"hey, what's up?" she asked.

and then i could hear her dad shouting in his very borat voice, telling her that there was an earthquake a few seconds ago and asking if she'd felt it.

"sorry about that," she came back, "but i just found out why my car was shaking! my dad said there was an earthquake."

dammit. he stole my news.

"so what's up?" she asked again.

"nothing," i said, "just wanted to let you know there was an earthquake. wtv."

the point is, they're overrated and under-exciting. i think everyone secretly wants to experience one-- they get that gleam in their eyes when they ask if you've ever felt one-- but they happen every week and we hardly notice. so calm down, it's not earthquake weather-- it's just going to rain.

this post is going to jinx us hardcore.