Learning Letters

if you can't already tell, i'm quite a dangerous fan of picking up trash and studying it. generally, if it's a post-it, it's not worth picking up because it'll just be an address, a phone number, or instructions for the fedex person.

binder paper is usually the best because it's full of inane ramblings (i.e. "san francisco is a gay man's disco) and, sometimes, sperm. the sperm end of the deal is never very much fun, but it's a balance that has to exist.

here and there i'll find more unique things like the 46th page of alice in wonderland, or maybe i'll find a birthday card written by an 86 year-old grandpa who wishes the receiver a happy 23rd, 20th and 29th birthday all in one forgetful greeting card.

most recently, i found this flash card:

part of me is confused as to what market the creators were aiming for-- if you don't know how to use the letter "m" you likely cannot read difficult words like "monkey" and that makes this card a bit useless.

but then maybe it's an aided thing: the parent says, "what is this? you know what it is. what is it?" and points at the monkey. and then points at the word "monkey" and blah, blah, blah. you know the deal.

what gets me, though, is perhaps the writers: bored with their job and feeling rebellious. because it seems they have picked some interesting m-words out of the many possibilities.

MAKE MAN MILK MONKEY MOON MOUSE.

if we were, let's say, to add an ampersand just after the "monkey" the entire list comes into a strange and inappropriate sentence. do you see?

MAKE MAN MILK MONKEY & MOON MOUSE.

this cannot be unintentional. the same words could have been reorganized to mean nothing at all:

MOUSE MONKEY MAN MILK MOON MAKE.

i'm very curious to see the other letters in this set. i have a feeling the "b" series is particularly bad. i've always thought the letter "b" was much more of a slut than any other letter and i can see these flash card designers having a field day with it all.

BIG BLACK BALLS BRUISE BUTT BADLY.