Freedom and the Weekend

to fully abuse the freedom of being single and unemployed, i try to spend every day getting at least one thing done in the direction of art. no one is sitting in an office grading the way i talk or worrying about whether or not i've joined the company chat, and no one is angry at me for being late to whatever date we had organized. i can paint all day if i want; i can spend hours exploring back-alleys and hoping for great garbage; i can poop with the door open and sing out loud.

certain days i might finish an entire painting and other days i might just steal sand from a playground and get lectured by a man in cargo shorts. but, no matter what, everyday has been a glorious day and a step closer to something being completed before someone else comes up with the exact same idea and does it first.

i'm sick of being the guy who goes, "i totally came up with that."

i don't think it really hit me until recently that this may be the first time since my move to san francisco that i am not stressed out. i have never been both single and unemployed in my life and it never occurred to me that being unemployed does not mean having freedom if you're still dating someone. being in a relationship can be wonderful, but you are still-- without a doubt-- answering to someone and running your day with a compromised schedule that can prevent you from ever addressing your own issues.

this is an experience i think i was always secretly afraid of. i'm never single. but this has got to be the most amazing thing i have ever had. with no immediate responsibility, i can finally do what i've promised myself i would do. i can get so much done.

except on days that i wake up at 3:30pm, dehydrated, and in pain.

but i think i can partly blame that on techboy for bringing me to the hemlock friday night. what was meant to be three or four beers in a pleasantly chaotic environment turned into a full night. leaving the bar lead us to find other friends at space gallery celebrating a co-worker's birthday. then the castle only to find it was taken over by vespa gangs. and whiskey thieves instead. each block we went, our group doubled in sized and tripled in drunk. and before too long, it was 5am and we were drinking whiskey at my apartment while trying to eat pasta.

anyway, it was worth it. i haven't had a social life in roughly a year-- again courtesy of relationships and employment. if superman is powered by the sun, i think it's possible extroverts are powered by stumbling through the loin with a crowd of friends. or something like that.

saturday morning didn't exist and saturday afternoon was gone before i was even out of bed-- i didn't get to a cafe for coffee till about 5pm. so i got nothing done.

but i don't really care. i needed that night. and, if it counts for anything, i did purchase some krylon matte finish so my more delicate drawings don't find themselves ruined.

krylon matte finish and some super rad ice cream socks.

that's its own kind of success in my mind.