This has Nothing to Do with Squirrels

it is nearly september which means we should all already be deep in thought about our halloween costumes. my figuring is the decision-making process behind your one costume a year (depending on who you are) is never very easy. it's when you choose whether or not you will be clever or just slutty-- or to what extent of each.

and i feel especially handicapped in the world of halloween for two fairly legitimate reasons:

1. my family didn't celebrate the holiday.

2. i have long hair.

the first time i ever went trick-or-treating was when i was twenty-one and just a few hours after coming down from an amazing mushroom trip. my costume was pretty make-shift and last minute and my face was sore from laughing eight hours straight.

when we were all kids, my halloweens were spent answering the door wearing a basketball as a mask and handing out candy to my classmates who had parents that honored the idea of actual costumes and free candy. i'm not too sure if that bothers me now as much as it did when i was eight, but it makes me such a halloween virgin.

the long hair, however, is arguably the real issue.

if any of you reading are men with long hair, i'm sure you know what i'm talking about. you wake up one day and realize halloween is just a week away and have a miniature panic. which of the five long-haired characters will i choose to be this year?

i was edward scissorhands last year and quickly realized that the best long-haired personalities have all already been claimed by johnny depp. willy wonka, sweeny todd, the mad hatter, pirates, etc. i don't want to be the guy who is just a different form of johnny depp each year. and i refuse to go as keanu reeves or richard ramirez for strict moral reasons.

so what's left? i could be a hippie (no), the crow, a jedi, or a brown dandelion.

there needs to be a website for men with long hair-- there is an odd men with long hair blog somewhere on the internet, but not what i'm going after-- we need more of a halloween support group for those of us not willing to just get a haircut.

i'm opening this up to suggestions...