Monday, August 23, 2010

OMG FINALLY!

today, i received some spectacular news. spectacular? HAH! well, you'll laugh. you see, very few people receive fortunes with any sort of declarative words-- it's always something along the lines of, Focus on the color purple this week. but i have always had helpful fortunes.

the very first post that every broke 200 visitors in a day was caused directly by a fortune-- rather by my following of the fortune's advice.

You have a charming way with words, write a letter today.

the fortune, my handwritten letter to starbucks, and my alien ball-point pen brought 271 people to this ridiculous blog in just twenty-four hours and even spawned quite a debate on reddit.

A shooting star tonight will bring you good luck tomorrow!

i received that fortune the day before i was hired by the concierge company. looking back, i don't know if getting that job was necessarily "good luck"-- but if "good" is relative, i think i can still consider being hired before being homeless pretty good luck.

today, this was my fortune:

Your fondest dream will come true within this year.

that's what i'm talking about! it doesn't say, "fondest dreams"-- no-- my fondest dream: the one dream i have always had and always hoped for. and within this year. they set a deadline!

most of you should know what my fondest dream is. when i was seventeen, i spent a month trying to utilize what i believed to be quantum mechanics in order to will myself into changing my dream to reality. it didn't work exactly.

i also spoke about my fondest dream on the old "ask us anything" podcast with chris, and the wangmaster. chris' wish was that he became rich-- defining it as, "a classic for a reason"-- and the wangmaster's wish was, quite simply, that herpes were not permanent. to each their own.

here's mine:



oh, i can't wait! i hope it happens before my birthday. i mean i've got a december birthday, so the odds are that i'll be spider-man well before then. but even if the fortune cookie gods wait till new year's eve i'll be happy. how fucking rad would that be?

"what did you do on new year's eve?"

"oh, nothing. i just became spider-man is all. it's not really a big deal."

i just hope my spider-powers are permanent.

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