The American Dream

i came home to an email from my mom that was subjected, "You Must Read This" and at first i was hesitant to open it for fear of finding a chain-letter that promised i would receive cancer and nine years of impotence if i didn't immediately forward it to everyone on my mailing list.

my mom has never sent me one of those. but it's a sort of mom thing to do. especially with such an urgent subject line.

the email, however, was not a chain-letter at all. it was a news article regarding a bank robbery that happened roughly a mile from our san jose home-- but somehow lead all the way to our block. the article explained the three armed robbers escaped by foot and [at this time] had not been found. they had even managed to remove a tracking device from the stolen booty and dropped it in my neighbor's bushes before continuing to escape.

...when I came back I saw a couple of police, one on a bike near Jason's house, the police on Devon and then about 6-7 near Mrs. Clark's house (the police were grouped with dogs and guns in front of Mike's house and one in front of John/Sue's house, helicopter circling overhead. Scary. We left for the cemetery and when we came back Matt saw them going through the bushes in the area with guns and they were going through the house next to Mike's which I guess is the one where they found the tracking device...

[photo by my older brother]
do keep in mind my old neck of the woods never got this sort of action, so i can imagine most people were pretty alarmed. in the twenty years that i lived there, i only saw crime-fighters with weapons once-- and it was on account of a hostage situation. but both ways, it's rare.

more importantly, let's look at the facts: the robbers escaped on foot. they robbed the bank of america on stevens creek boulevard and the tracker was found on dartmoor way.

take a look at this map:

if you notice the green squiggly line leading from point "a" (bank of america) to the reddish "x", that would be calabazas creek: my childhood creek and my potential means of escape should i have ever had a run-in with the cops. the "x" is a block away from where the tracking device was found.

in other words, these bank-robbers stole my idea and it totally worked.

the creek not only runs right behind the bank, and is the most direct route to highway 85 (the "x" and the doors of freedom), but its surrounding trees block any chance of a helicopter, or a cop car from locating the runners-- in fact, at times, the creek leads you through completely hidden tunnels. the water ruins any chance of a canine tracking you as well.

tim and i had always joked about using that creek during a heist because once you've reached the highway wall, there is a small opening-- complete with a ladder-- that releases you onto highway 85 and into the arms of freedom.

"if i ever call you and say '85' it means you need to pick me up on the other side by that manhole."

i may not be a detective, but i know calabazas creek better than i know some of my closest friends. i grew up catching tadpoles in that creek and graduated to smoking weed in that creek. i've had sex in that creek and i've explored it till the sun went down and the homeless came out.

if these robbers escaped by foot, they took the creek. if they made it to dartmoor way (where they dropped the tracking device) they've already made it to highway 85 and if they've done any sort of halfway decent planning, they're driving down the freeway counting money and blasting the clash.

the funniest part is it seems the san jose cops still have no idea how the criminals got away.

that's what you get, bank of america.