Dear M. Night Shamanamallamayamalanan

i write to you as a fan and an amateur filmmaker. i have followed everything you've done and make a point to watch all the extras on every one of your dvds just to learn more about your genius.

recently, i had the pleasure of seeing your latest trailer: devil.

devil's intense full-length trailer came on while we were waiting to see scott pilgrim vs. the world and, similar to all movie trailers, it received a judgmental eye. every trailer has that minute or two to sell us as a crowd and we've become more and more critical due to the influx of horrible films.

and within that tiny time-slot, it seemed devil was a hit-- the theater was on the edge of their seats and generally interested in it before the title and credits popped up.

but as soon as it was known you were the mastermind behind the super-natural suspense thriller, the entire theater awwed in disappointed unison. there may have been some boos as well. and the aws and boos then quickly transformed into laughs as soon as everyone realized they had all awwed at the same thing.

i was surprised. you are an amazing director and clever writer. surely people were not booing you! they couldn't have forgotten the magic of the sixth sense: what was only the start to a brilliant career with the caliber of hitchcock and raw talent of kubrick, filled with other amazing films like lady in the water, the happening with mark wahlberg, and of course: the critically acclaimed the last airbender.

i scanned the theater quickly and caught a few people high-fiving each other in celebration of how much they disliked you and i couldn't believe my eyes. i was offended and dumbstruck. i wanted to stand up and shout at them, "this is m. night shamamamymymalaynynan: the greatest suspense-filmmaker of all time!"

but then i realized i hate you and didn't even enjoy you back when everyone else did. the sixth sense is kind of stupid because if you've seen it once there's no point in seeing it again and the films that followed were the only thing that made the sixth sense look any better.

please quit hollywood.

honestly,
president wishnack

p.s. you thought i liked you at first, but then omg, it was a twist! you sucked all along. do you see what i did there?