Success

well, technically it was yesterday during a meeting i called with human resources. but hey, success nonetheless!

the way it went down was amazingly peaceful and very relieving. i would've liked mr. poopants to be there, witnessing it all, but i suppose it was equally refreshing just knowing i will never see him again.

"he had mentioned he would follow up with me," i said, "but if i know mr. poopants, that may take a few weeks and i figured it best i talk to you directly about where i stand with this company."

"he mentioned the two of you weren't getting along," she laughed, "and we did take a look at what he's said you've done. he also said you were aware that your two no-call no-shows would come with a reprimanding."

"yeah," i said, "i figured that from the start. so what's happening with it?"

"generally, two consecutive absences without a call requires us to terminate you. your program lead suggested it was a fluke and we ought to give you another shot, but mr. poopants mentioned you don't enjoy your job?"

"i don't enjoy working the hours i have and i especially don't enjoy working for mr. poopants. also, i should mention i think my program lead would be a much better manager. she's amazing."

i meant that. most of us have wondered why she isn't our manager and how mr. poopants ever got the position. but maybe one day that will all change.

"well," she said, "you can either finish the rest of your shift or go home now. that part is up to you."

"so i'm fired then?"

"technically we're letting you go," she corrected me.

i burst into an immediate laugh and i'm still not sure if it was because of how relieved and excited i was to know i was finally fired, or if it was because of something else entirely.

"what's funny?" she asked me.

"nothing," i said, "i've just never agreed with the phrase 'letting you go' so much until right now. thank you."

corporately speaking, i was "let go" for my two no-show, no-calls and the very popular "insubordinate behavior" which is somewhat synonymous for "wearing costumes and telling your boss he sucks."

i suppose the only thing i regret is not having a chance to wear the suit i brought back with me from san jose. in fact, i had quite a few outfits lined up.

but it's finally over.

i did finish the shift-- mostly to complete one final pay-period-- then grabbed my belongings, said some goodbyes and walked home the happiest man to ever stroll the soma carrying a nerf gun and a spider-man mug.