i wasn't sure what to do until i started talking to lauren and realized she had never been to/heard of the jejune institute. i'd been meaning to go back. and i'd also just started hanging out with her recently, so it seemed like the combination would make a wondrous adventure.
and so we were the two soaked maniacs dodging deathly umbrellas and chinese new year's celebrators while clinging to our jejune institute map. we'd duck in and out of random stores, and maneuver around the tourists, briefly eying our nonsensical map for clues as to where exactly we might be headed.
they all thought we were insane, i'm sure. they thought we were insane because we didn't
crazy.
actually, at first, i was half-curious if lauren would determine me insane for inviting her out on an odd blend of a scavenger hunt and a cult-- complete with a good chance to catch a cold. but she was down-- and that made everything twice as fun and four times less awkward than it could've been.
though maybe that only means we're both sane. but we were having an adventure-- and sometimes that requires a bit of a loose-ended mind.
either way, the rain only made the experience better. everything we did seemed so much more epic, and at times there was a legitimate fear that our map would grow too soaked to read and we would never discover the secret of the jejune.
some random girl i found on google images uncovering a jejune clue. also, for those of you who have already partaken in the chaotic nonsense known as the jejune institute, the map has changed since the last time i'd quietly escaped 580 california to scour the city for socio-reengineering landmarks and, coded church bricks or criminal seagulls.
i think saturday was perhaps the most fun rainy day i have had in at last four years. it probably even makes the list of Top 14 Rainy Days of My Life. yeah, so think about that.
at one point, a mixture of our enigmatic map and breaking into a detective's voicemail told us to head toward the overpass that connects chinatown's portsmouth square to the hilton, and that's about where we were near enough to call it quits for the day. it's also where we found a very out of place verizon kiosk with a pile of fortune cookies.
"sure," the verizon man said, "you can have a pen, too!"
lauren and i grabbed one of each and she joked about how amazing the jejune institute had been-- how everything seemed to be related to it-- and that it'd be great if the fortunes inside the free cookie were jejune-related.
unfortunately, they were not. mine said, "This year you will let loose your WOW Factor!" and hers said something like, "You will be amaze people with customer service!"
they were verizon-cookies, not jejune-cookies-- and certainly not fortune cookies. that was something of a let down.
afterward, we decided to make use of the fact the city was bustling and see if we couldn't get into some chinatown bars without being carded. it was a simple success, though the bartender was so slammed she had no time to wash cups and had to start making manhattans with plastic cups instead.
and when i got home, i felt so good. the day had just been too great. everyone i knew spent the day cooped up, hiding from the rain or parade.
you know how sometimes people tell really bad jokes and then they say, "well, you had to be there"? this post is sort of like that. except, unlike you-had-to-be-there jokes, saturday was actually fucking amazing. and whether you know it or not, you're jealous. or at least you would be if you knew what you missed. maybe in another dimension, there exists a you that does know what you missed-- and that you is drowning in liquid envy.
so you'll just have to take my very rushed words on this one: it was as magical as getting to be a cartoon for one day, or finding a working jetpack. all of that multiplied by christopher walken's voice. almost like this:
and i'm going to add that lauren deserves my seal of Adventure Approval. it's not actually worth anything and you can't put it on your resume, but not everyone would've shown up to a rainy adventure and had fun.
BUT WAIT: THERE'S MORE!
normally, after an adventure, i stay in for the night. i'll have a few drinks, maybe watch a movie or write about what went on and then go to bed. but this time i was pumped. i checked the clock and realized i still had time to go back out.
but i had to eat first.
i ordered a t-bone steak dinner from front room-- a discovery made by one mr. david cooch back when he was my temporary roommate and spent his days making coffee and saving lives of plastic-feasting sea turtles. the t-bone steak dinner is not just a t-bone steak. no. firstly, it's delivered. secondly, it comes with your choice of baked potato, spaghetti, or soup. they also throw in a salad and garlic bread. and two scoops of ice cream. i'll repeat: two scoops of ice cream come with your delivered steak dinner.
i know what you want to say, but let me have this one, vegans. let me just enjoy how magical that is after not getting to eat more than half a meal a day for so long. thank you front room, thank you dave cooch.
once the steak was down my throat and on its way to my belly, travis and i headed to allison's new apartment for her housewarming party.
she's got a great new spot in north beach where i had once carried a tiny green table in exchange for an in&out burger. but i'd only met her roommate at boyfriend really. i went to see the ukaladies and listening to songs about euphemistic sea-cucumbers, jewish virgin-sex, and non-metaphorical suitcases. it was good times.
anyway, given i only knew three peope, it was a refreshing chance to meet strangers at her housewarming. it's also where i hung out with the second lauren of the day. friday was a day of travises and saturday a lauren day, apparently. anyway, although we drank all of her beer (thanks), everyone there seemed to be some form of artist or another and we united in intellectual conversation.
there are few things i love more than drinks and a good debate.
oh, and i take it back: i knew four people-- not three. as it turns out, one of allison's friends happens to be an old neighbor who had let me climb out his window and across the fire escape to get in through my kitchen window. sadly, that happened more than once.
the housewarming party was a nice change from friday night. but then i suppose housewarmers are meant to be a little more intimate and conversational than birthday parties at hostels in the tenderloin.
we discussed everything from the academy of art, to how allison's boyfriend looks extremely like high laurie from house. and then we debated some more. for a moment, we argued over whether or not allison had put her barefoot in a bowl of chip-dip. i'm pretty sure i ate it anyway.
but by the later parts of the night, my brain started fizzling out and i don't know if it was on account of alcohol or just exhaustion-- but it did, and that's going to cost the rest of this post, unfortunately.
i do know we stumbled home sometime around 3am and i considered drunk-dialing a friend who had been previously warned what giving me her number might do. but then i realized she had given me the number back when i had a dead cell phone and so i'd put it somewhere else.
instead, travis and i just meandered back and i passed out in time for sunday.
oh, and before i forget: the weekend photo from a few days ago represents saturday with a jejune pencil, verizon pen and fortune, and a fork. i stole the fork from allison's house because that's how i roll at housewarming parties. and no you cannot have it back, allison.
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