PHONETASTIC (S'all I Got)

today, i can officially pay for my cell phone.

but i'm going to miss the little things.

walking to and from work without cigarettes or a working phone is a different experience. in 2008, i drew a picture of what the financial district might look like during the morning rush if all of the people were deleted, but their vices remained.


i also liked finding myself stuck in an elevator in a high-rise and realizing that my cell phone had no service. i wasn't paying for service, but it was good to know in that particular scenario, paying wouldn't have done anything. and sometimes you just have to use your fingernails to pry the god damn doors open. TRUE STORY.

also, at 3am one night, my phone beeped at me to tell me i had received a voice message. that was a little weird. it was like it came back from the grave to tell me one more thing. except, it only told me •beep• and wouldn't allow me to check the message. i wonder how many voice messages i have. oh well, soon enough.

the best part of being phoneless, though, was the night of the storm. i was alone in the house and discovered someone climbing through my bathroom window and into the bathtub. it was like a great combination of the beatles' song, a horror movie, and one of those 90's tv shows like clarissa explains it all.

i did wish i had my phone, though. i have no idea who i would've called if there were a knife-wielding maniac breaking in, or what good a call would've done-- and i had no weapons nearby because my wooden katanas were broken in a friend's halloween escapades-- but a phone is sometimes good at making you feel secure during a break-in.

instead, i sipped a beer, and watched the bathroom to see what would happen next.

this is what happened:

a drunk travis stumbled in laughing.

he and simon had left to grab beer, or zig-zags, or maybe some rain-- and left their keys inside.

"so," he said, "we forgot your phone doesn't work. we buzzed the door to get in and then we we're like 'shit. do you have your keys?'"

that was probably the best part of not having a working phone. and i don't even feel bad about it because i know travis enjoyed spider-manning up the wall and through our window-- especially with the epic addition of a san francisco storm. that's one of those things you should all try more often-- it just reminds you that you're awesome when you finish.

anyway, if all goes as planned (and sometimes it does) i'll have my paycheck cashed, cell phone paid, and belly full before the night's end. and i'm gonna get nearly get hit by a fedex truck so i can ask some hot bitches for their number and call them late at night to see if they're sleeping and if they're sleeping if they're dreaming of me.

...what's sad is the last sentence was almost direct lyrics from that one song by blue october, the most stalkery song alive.

not the point.

paycheck! food! phone! pants party!

and then, on friday, i'm gonna do STUFF.