Rape Me

A law under consideration in South Dakota would expand the definition of "justifiable homicide" to include killings that are intended to prevent harm to a fetus—a move that could make it legal to kill doctors who perform abortions. The Republican-backed legislation, House Bill 1171, has passed out of committee on a nine-to-three party-line vote, and is expected to face a floor vote in the state's GOP-dominated House of Representatives soon.

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i thought i was ready to type a sentence here, but no: i'm not. i feel like someone just kicked me in the balls and asked me to divide 37 by 17 in my head. except worse-- like all that plus diarrhea and nazis. i just... don't know what to say.

let's continue, then.

If the bill passes, it could in theory allow a woman's father, mother, son, daughter, or husband to kill anyone who tried to provide that woman an abortion—even if she wanted one.

look, you can be for or against abortion all you like, but this is absolutely ridiculous.

isn't the argument against abortion that it's murder? how is it miraculously not murder if you kill a doctor who was planning on aiding in an abortion? that's like saying it's illegal to eat cheese and the punishment for cheese-eating is that you have to ingest mozzarella.

i've never been a big fan of doctors and their practice-- which is, by all means, practice-- but i'd be a liar and an idiot to say killing a doctor is more moral than killing the potential spawn of myself and someone silly enough to sleep with me condomless.

i'll be honest, i could have four kids right now. two of which would be twins. it's not something i'm proud of, and i'm a condom-wearer these days as a result. despite what you may think, i will never forgive myself for causing pregnancies and not being the one to take the bullet for them. i really do wish i could've been the one in the abortion chair. but what i think my exes and i can agree on is that the world certainly would not be a better place with four of our babies running about.

maybe i should time-travel, convince said girlfriends to have said babies and introduce them to the governor of south dakota. that'd be a compellingly horrible experience i'm sure.

accidental baby wishnacks aside, let me point this out:

the state notorious for rape: neighbor to violence on females, and ugliest residents is really going to step up and say they'd like to extend "justified homicide" toward anyone who aides in an abortion?

i just sighed. for real, i did. partly because i just got off work and i'm tired, but mostly because come on, south dakota. come on.