Abandoned Abandoned Plans

the real reason i was a little let down and bewildered by my saturday is likely that i had other plans. going to a bar and a party only happened as a result of a better saturday failing to leave the "planning out" moment to enter the "panning out" moment.

see, about two weeks ago, i received a blog-comment here that went like this:

Hello,

I just came across your blog while researching urban places to explore in San Fran. I've been looking for someone to help me find and photograph places that have been abandoned. in the bay area, and further up north as well. i'm a 22 year old girl who weighs about 100lbs. so i need someone to help me feel a little bit safer going in these places. You seem to have a good knowledge of the city, and i would be interested in getting to know you better. if you don't mind helpin me around the city, that is. i live in santa rosa and have a full time job...so id be willing to pay. if your interested shoot me an email and we can talk details ****@yahoo.com thanks for you time! :)

and a few things went through my head as they usually do.

i figured the best place to visit would be the locker rooms of the fleishhacker pool. but that part of thinking was the easy part.


considering how much i love talking with strangers, going on random adventures, and generally experiencing first-handed awkwardness, i probably analyze situations way too much. and after receiving the invitation to explore an abandoned swimming pool with an utterly unknown human, i turned to friends and facebook for advice.

facebook confirmed that this girl was a real girl and not just a spambot that'd somehow passed my moderation. but i was still a little worried by the fact she had listed her age and weight-- something about that struck me as something i might read on craigslist's casual encounters. and, moreover, the entire letter felt very much like president wishnack bait.

seriously, if i were to try and trap me in a murderous scheme, i would be a skinny girl who wants to be taken to a grungy secret hideout for a bit of photography and conversation. i would also offer money. fish in a barrel.

but, the more i thought it out, the more i realized i was just being paranoid. besides, through our emails, she'd promised she had no plan to murder me. and that's not something a murderer would say!

so i agreed to meet her this saturday and head out to the fleishhacker pool. a few people offered to join me, but i figured it would ruin the experience. if i was going to willingly go on a potentially awkward adventure, i wanted the full experience-- not one watered down by the comfort of having a friend chaperon.

i drink my coffee black, and my whiskey straight-- i like the real deal or nothing at all.

but on saturday morning, the adventure never happened. facebook told me why:

Hey sorry to say i have a family emergency, and i'm on the way to the hospital right now. So im not going to be able to make it to the city today. Maybe we can meet up some other time. Have a good one.

my immediate thinking was she'd gotten cold feet. shit, i was nervous about meeting her and i would certainly be nervous about meeting me. i've been told i actually look like a serial killer.


plus, i once quit working for atari by saying i had a family emergency that involved me moving to canada last minute.

i've had a lot of "family emergencies."

and as i gather it, only 2% of the time do family emergencies actually exist. and i'm saying 2% as someone who has had a lot of real family emergencies. so a normal person probably has like 1.5% truth to what they're saying in that realm. it's sort of like getting "food poisoning" after a keg-party.

but i did check her facebook wall and see that someone really had left a message that said roughly, "call me right now." and that there probably was some form of emergency-- just horribly timed like most emergencies. so i don't think she was lying.

i promise i am not usually this facebook stalky, but i was more than a little nervous about meeting a stranger via the internet. in an abandoned swimming pool locker room.

but that was supposed to be my saturday. it was supposed to be a historic day: like when i took a new zealand flight attendant in and let him sleep on my apartment floor after only having met him once on my golden gate bridge tour. i'd met allison and stole a fork from her house, but i already knew her older brother a bit. this was going to be the first time i'd ever met someone entirely unknown and took her on an adventure. it's opportunities like that which make me feel like my chaotic life is actually somewhat meaningful and poetic.

and i love that i may write on the internet constantly, and live in a digital world, but there are still those rare and special occurrences when we break the boundary lines and make a real-life connection.

but it's last-minute family emergencies that, yet again, prove to me that i can love chaos all i want-- but part of chaos is family emergencies that will ultimately ruin the kind of chaos i was hoping for.

and i can't pick and choose what sort of chaos i'd prefer.

ah well, another time.