Mr. Heptagon and the Hill

once upon a time there was a heptagon named mr. heptagon. he lived in a geometrical world and he was a geometrical girl... or boy.

everyday mr. heptagon would sit at the top of a large hill frowning a heptagonal frown. it's a hard thing to do: to frown heptagonally-- but it's hard to be a heptagon in general.

a life without true symmetry or popularity.

"i do wish i were a circle," he pouted,"then i could roll down the hills."

mr. heptagon cried a single heptagon-tear and watched as the circles bounced and rolled and sang ridiculous songs that circles might enjoy.

day after day, mr. heptagon would sit atop the hill, depressed and heptagonal. he would silently curse his seven sides every morning and verbally curse his seven sides every night.

but one morning, mr. heptagon woke up feeling inspired. he was sick of letting his physical attributes determine so much of his life. and he was sick of the circles having all the fun.

"i'm tired of always being so sad!" he exclaimed, "i'm just going to try rolling down!"

it seemed like a fantastic idea and so he climbed to the top of that large hill, took a deep breath, and began to roll down the other side slowly.

"by god, this is so much fun!" he shouted as his awkward body bounced down the hill.

but after several turns, his sharp corners began to hit hard, and his heptagonal body was thrown off balance. the combination of his increased speed and odd corners tossed him more and more awkwardly and he grew scared.

halfway down the hill, he began wishing he could stop the entire thing.

but he couldn't. and at the bottom of the hill-- right there in front of all the circles-- he vomited an embarrassing vomit.

"what an idiot," one of the circles said as it rolled by wearing douchebag sunglasses.

mr. heptagon looked up at the circle and grew very angry.

"well," he said as he returned to his feet, "at least i'm not a square."

somewhere in the distance, mr. square cried a squarish tear while looking down from a large hill.

the end.

i know... give me a break.

techboy and i were a bit intoxicated and i thought it would be a good exercise to write random words on pieces of paper and assign them to each other to force blog posts out.

he got "pizza cheese" and i got stuck with "heptagon"

i was pretty sure he wasn't actually going to follow through with it and so i basically threw my word in the trash. and then, out of nowhere, i see he's updated his blog with a god damn pizza cheese post.

i mean, keep in mind i had just bought a pizza for the team of us and there was plenty of pizza cheese inspiration that night. whereas i have trouble even drawing a heptagon and i certainly failed every math class i've ever taken.

so whatever, there it is. fucking heptagon.

i hate you, techboy.