Git Art Done

the other day, while watching a stand up comedy act at the purple onion, i realized that i don't do nearly as much doing as i do talking. ego aside, i believe i have a lot of creative ideas, but rarely do i complete anything.

in fact, i have a folder on my desktop which has been named "incomplart"-- it's a mash-up of "incomplete" and "art", which is not only hardly creative, but ridiculously pathetic. no one should have so much half-finished artwork that it requires a cute folder.

i didn't exactly enjoy every comedian i saw that night and there were a few i actually disliked. but the point is they were standing on a stage, with lights in their eyes, and a microphone in their hand. i was sitting in a small chair, hoping they wouldn't ask me any questions, with a beer in my hand.

that's not me.

why have i never done stand up comedy? why have i never tried? why do i have a folder of things i've started and given up on?

that night, i text messaged myself, "dear mr. wishnack, find your art and do it. stop talking and do it. don't sleep, just do it."

and then i went to sleep.

yes, i did just reference batman begins. because batman is right. it's what you DOOOOOO.

god i hate bale's voice.

i suppose my problem is that i have no idea what sort of artist i'd like to be and i rarely believe i am an artist at all. first i'll want to be a cartoonist, then a comedian, then a writer, then a cinematographer, then a super-villain. and i'll try each one of those, maybe win some awards on the way or pick up gigs. and then, somewhere in there, i just quit and move on.

all i know is this: i want people to laugh. i don't think i'll ever change the world very much and even if i could, i wouldn't know where to begin or that my idea of a "better world" is any better than someone elses.

all i know is that if things aren't going to change for the better, we're going to need a lot of comedy to get through life without scaling a wall with an AK-47 and a mind full of vengeance.

and sometimes that comedy can only work via cartoons. other times it takes a man on a stage with a microphone, and still other times it can only be done in writing. i want to do them all and yet i'm sitting here doing nothing but eating chicken wings and typing on a blog while at work.

it's difficult to live as an "artist", when you have no idea what medium you prefer or if you're any good at any medium or if being any good is even relevant. and it doesn't help to be expected to manage whichever medium when i am barely capable of remembering to clip my own fingernails and shower regularly without reminders. i think the very concept of creativity and art goes against schedules and organization and that is a very unfortunate truth.

i mean, i can make creatures out of trash, but the minute i have to actually go out and buy supplies-- hell, the minute i have to write a list of supplies-- the entire thing falls apart. lists and errands are not very accommodating to the artistic process. i can't come up with a great idea and leave the house to go get tools or i'll lose the feel of it all before i'm even back inside.

and then i won't finish it and it'll just be one more thing in my incomplart folder.

i need to hire a very mathematical, schedule-oriented, assistant who just whips me in the face every time i come up with an idea and don't do shit about it.

this was a meaningless post for you all-- i think it was a little more for me. but you know, thanks for reading or pretending to have.