The Flubbery Future Fridge

while some people are worried about disease, poverty, the climate, and other more boring things, the real scientists are spending their time and money on revolutionizing the refrigerator.

i never thought there was a problem with the way fridges worked, but apparently a team of lab-workers in russia disagree and feel the biggest problem is that regular fridges of the year 2010 have silly out of date things like doors and shelves rather than... futuristic green goo.

Bio Robot Refrigerator, Yuriy Dmitriev, Russia – Cool, Green, Food Preservation

Four times smaller than a conventional refrigerator, the Bio Robot cools biopolymer gel through luminescence. Rather than shelves, the non sticky, odourless gel morphs around products to create a separate pod that suspends items for easy access. Without doors, draws and a motor 90% of the appliance is solely given over to its intended purpose. At the same time, all food, drink and cooled products are readily available, odours are contained, and items are kept individually at their optimal temperature by bio robots. The fridge is adaptable – it can be hung vertically, horizontally, and even on the ceiling. Different sizes and dimensions allow it to perfectly fit the accordant dwelling.

[via electrolux]

without even mentioning how completely unnecessary an advance this is, i would like to just list a few problems i foresee.

1. carmen the cat was hungry and now she's partially frozen in a big rectangle of neon jello.

2. i was really hungry but, to my surprise, the idea of eating out of a slimy trap and the odd sucking sound the bio-gel makes when you pull an apple from its depths made me unusually sick to my stomach. i threw up all over the place and now a lot of my vomit is trapped in my gel-fridge.

3. this just in: an alarming number of star wars fans have suffocated in various cities while trying to reenact han solo's carbonite scene.

4. "hey man, do you have any food? oh, nevermind, i can totally see that you do have food and now there's nothing you can say to prevent me from eating it without looking rude."

5. this just in: five high schoolers have contracted cancer while trying to see what it would feel like to put their penis into the bio robot fridge gel.

okay, those last few may be a stretch, but the fridge is still a wholey unnecessary invention and i would much rather see scientists spend their knowledge and research on creating a microorganism that feasts on plastic and emits clean air.

if they can make glow-in-the-dark tobacco plants by crossing spors with firefly genes, they can sure as fuck stop making ridiculous refrigerators and start engineering some useful balances to our ecosystem.