the guy is jumping at my feet, trying to get my attention and i would like to ignore him because i don't feel like talking and i don't very much like speaking with frogs. they never have anything new to say, yet they're convinced they've always presented you with the greatest, newest, piece of news.
i could step on him so easily and he would just leave me alone. but there are holes in my shoes and i don't want any more frog guts on my socks. i hate doing laundry. i hate frog guts. i hate frogs.
you must play music!no, i do not play music.
you're not in a band?
i am not in a band.
oh, i thought you were in a band!
i'm sorry to let you down, but the only thing i play is the fool.
that's funny!
actually, i stole that from john lennon.
oh. john lennon was in the beatles!
you're right, john lennon was in the beatles.
do you like music? you look like you belong in a metal band!
again, i am not in a band. but if i were in a band, i would not be in a metal band.
oh, that's too bad!
my apologies again. i know my hair could be put to great head-banging use.
do you sing?
no. i'm not in a band. are you listening to me?
you must be an artist!
you're right, i am an artist. at least i think so. i know i'm not a mathematician anyway.
i knew you were! i could tell because of your hair!
oh, is there paint in my hair?
no, it's just very long: like an artist's.
what sort of artist do you think i might be, with my long hair?
i think you're a poet.
even though i asked if i had paint in my hair?
oh, you're a painter!
no, i'm not. i just said that randomly, actually.
so you are a poet!
no, that one you said. i'm not a poet.
what kind of artist are you?
the lost kind.
the lost kind? what kind is that?
if i knew what kind it was, i wouldn't be lost.
maybe i can help! where do you think you are?
it feels as though i am trapped in a film noir, being harassed by a talking frog.
oh that's funny! a film noir!
what's funny about that? i really do not enjoy it.
you're not in a film noir, we're not in black and white!
i didn't say it looks like we're in a film noir. i said it feels like it. meaning i'm down on my luck, want to drink my whiskey, smoke my cigarettes, and i badly need a shave.
but whiskey and cigarettes won't change luck or shaves!
yes, thank you. i know.
then that isn't very smart!
yeah, and you're a frog.
but i'm not trapped in a film noir, i'm living in a fairytale!
well i don't want to live in a fairytale. i don't sing, remember?
what do you want?
i want you to go somewhere else and offer advice where it's asked.
okay! good luck with your troubles! just remember that sometimes you can be in a fairytale without being the main character. i'm not the main character in mine, but it's okay!
awesome. i hope you get eaten by a bear.
this is why i don't speak to frogs. when i feel miserable i need to be left to be miserable. i know me more than a frog knows me. a frog only knows how to repeat what he's been taught. i have no use for a creature that tells me rules i'm already aware of without any concern for emotion. just let me make my own mistakes and if you respect me you should be able to respect the fact i'll resolve the issues of my own life without any of your help.
i hate that god damn frog.
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