Monday, July 5, 2010

intoxicated poop segment: part lxxxv

i sat in front of dual screens, waiting for clients to call on july fourth. the entire nine hour shift consisted of just two phone calls-- both of which happened in the first two hours.

the remaining seven hours brought on insanity. horrible, cold, insanity.

and this was the result:

They make you smile, no matter what
They make you laugh, and they're from your butt

an Anal Salute
or simply Toot
Cut the Cheese
and Rectum Sneeze

a Rip
a Pip
a Blat
a Shat

Hershey Squirts
and Bottom Flirts

to Blast the Chair
a Buttock Blare
a Pocket Frog
or Smelly Fog

to Lay an Egg
or Lift a Leg
to Beep Your Horn
or Air Reborn

to Blow Some Mud
a Farty Flood
Scortch Your Pants
and Anal Chants

a Guff
a Chuff
a Zump
a Trump

Bottom Burps
and Asshole Chirps

to Step on a Duck
or Let Out a Cluck
a Bottom Blast
or Gas that's Passed

so let out a Boomer
it's all in good humor

the Silent
the Loud
the Violent
and Proud

so Shoot the Cannon
or Shoot the Bunny

and laugh when you Fart— because it's funny.

someone please rescue me from this deep dark corporate jungle. it's numbing my mind and scratching at imaginary itches till the spot bleeds dry, sandy, blood.

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