Here's the Deal

it was a challenge. a challenge that came with the conditions i do not admit it is a challenge. i should explain it, i suppose, due to the high number of facebook messages and ims it gathered.

i think it started because i was feeling really uninspired (thank you work), but noticing i was tantalizingly close to beating my record for number of visitors in a month. and techboy came to my aide.

"you must accept the challenge before i tell you what it is," he'd said.

"ok, deal," i said.

"i'm going to send you a picture," he explained, "and you have to write about it within the week."

"hmm," i said, "this could be fun. send it."

"and if you don't accept this photo," he continued, "i'll send you a second, but you have to write about that one or you owe me a bottle of whiskey."

once whiskey gets involved, you know matters are serious. nonetheless i accepted. this wasn't the first time we'd challenged each other in a bloggish manner-- and i was psyched about being handed inspiration.

the first photo was this:

i declined because there was something too posed about the entire thing-- it was a touristy shot with a clear punchline and it limited what i could do with the photo that would be outside of what you'd already expect. it would've just been commentary on what was already funny.

the second photo was found on google image and is the one you likely just saw in the post before this. the pantsless kid in the bathroom.

this i could do.

but then techboy added a small catch:

"you cannot mention this is a challenge."

i think this was in direct response to the time i wrote a really horrible story about mr. heptagon and saved my face by explaining it was just a challenge and you can't expect a brilliant piece of work.

well, i sat on the idea for a day-- trying to think of how i could write about this unconscious kid. the file name was something to do with tryptophan, so i promised myself i would not write about turkey.

it also seemed that the black censor box might help make the story more interesting since there is no saying what's beyond that rectangle.

ultimately, i figured it this way: if there is whiskey at stake and techboy has made me promise not to tell anyone this is a challenge, the only reasonable way to write about the photo would be in a manner that would make him wish i had told everyone it was a challenge.

hence a story of star wars pederastery.

so no, none of the post below is true-- i think most of you should already know that-- techboy would never do anything like that. firstly, he loves that boba fett action figure. but truthfully, techboy's been there for me during some real fucking shitty times (true) and for those of you who followed my many links to his blog and thought, "this fucking pervert has hardly unpacked and he's already molesting boys!" i will say i have not once witnessed him put anything in a child's butt, nor has he seemed remotely interested in the idea.

he has tried to kill me once or twice, but i've also called him a pederast on my blog-- so fair is fair.

anyway, with all that said, my apologies, techboy. you had me cornered.

p.s. - that post pulled in my third highest number of visitors in a day, and techboy's highest in a day. scientifically speaking, one test out of one test proves you like hearing about techboy putting toys in boy bottoms. so maybe the perverts are you.