Dear Nob Hill Inn

the first time i walked by your establishment on pine and taylor, a very high-pitch frequency rang in my ears and caught me off-guard. i thought i was witnessing a strange side-affect from a heavy night of whiskey-drinking.

i was off-balanced and uncoordinated-- it reminded me of that one scene in computer worn tennis shoes when the bad guy phones kurt russell and plays a horrible dial-up modem-esque series of beeps and squeals to rob him of his computer mind-powers.

if you've seen it, you'd know what i mean. but what i'm getting at is the sound legitimately made me feel like a part of my strength was being stolen right from my body-- like an audible kryptonite.

but after two or three more walks i realized the sound came from your hotel, and not my malfunctioning brain, and it happened every time i passed. it's painful to hear and it's quite unwelcoming for a hotel.

i think it might be an electronic contraption to confuse raccoons into staying far away, but i've never known raccoons-- or any animals for that matter-- to be very fond of nob hill hotels in the first place.

then again, maybe it's because of your device.

but i am not a raccoon and i do not appreciate feeling like someone is sliding a cold sewing needle into my brain by means of my ear every time i walk by your hotel on my way to work.

can you at least turn the motion-sensor off during the day? raccoons are mostly nocturnal. or could you possibly change the frequency to one that only raccoons can hear?

don't your guests ever complain about the sound? there is no way i'm the only one who can hear the damn thing-- it's unbearable.

today, at work, i was asked by a colleague what my thoughts on your establishment are. i used to be a tour guide and i think they were hoping for some insider information they might be able to relay to one of our clients.

all i could say was, "if you get too near the front door, it squeals at you and it is absolutely horrible. don't send our clients there. there are better boutique hotels in the city."

i felt bad, but it's true.

i would like to know that you are working on this issue, so please get back to me as soon as you can. if no one else has complained about hearing the ungodly sound it is quite possible i am the first known raccoon to own a blog.

and in that case, i deserve an award.

both ways, please write me back.

agitatedly,
president wishnack