Nerf or Nothin

nothing makes you feel surprisingly old and surprisingly young at the same time like a good ol' fashioned nerf war in a corporate office. cubicles make for great battling tactics. and when better for our war than when our manager is trying to hold a company-wide chat-meeting?

it was me, d, and b. everyone else attempted to work.

C (manager): Seriously, what is D doing
C: all that noise
B: music
B: he's performing a symphony... of sorts
C: nope, it sounds like football
D: aerobics
C: all that banging
B: it's definitely not football
D: man aerobics

the child was alive in us all, though the adult was having trouble keeping up. we had to take a good number of "i'm not as young as i thought and i need to rest" moments between battles. and i've never wished i was a non-smoker more.

D: NERF WARS RULE!!!
W: is anyone else sweating right now?
C: I just need you in this chat for when we test your acct
C: TEAM HERE COME THE INSTRUCTIONS
C: PAY CLOSE ATTENTION
W has left the room.
B has left the room.
D has left the room.
C: OMG team.

what you may not know about corporate-set nerf battles is that there is never just one. once it's begun it becomes a full on war-- eventually everyone is coming to work with their own weapon. i more or less have to take calls while clutching my 10-shooter now. i take my breaks with the gun and go odd routes to throw the enemies off. i've even sacrificed smoke breaks just to sneak-attack fools. vietcong style.

i pee with the damn thing.

i split open the knee of my last un-ripped pair of jeans, but this is exactly what i needed.

though we collectively lost five darts.