Txt Me Pls, K Thx

thursday was the first day in over five years that i got to work late. i'm never late. i'm the guy who shows up so early his boss has to tell him to stop. but i was thirty minutes late thursday.

sleep-me must've turned the alarm off when it tried to trick him into leaving whatever odd subconscious land he was likely enjoying-- so by the time awake-me came around, it was already 8:04am-- four minutes past the start of my shift.

i'd like to blame it on drinking, but wednesday night wasn't full of drunken chaos by any means.

in a lot of ways, i wish it were.

see, on wednesday morning, my alarm failed to wake me as well-- except, i was saved by a text from a new york friend i had drunk-texted the night before. her response came to my phone at 6:10am.

and, due to being invited to another business networking meeting, i was supposed to be awake at 6:00am rather than my normal 6:30am.

i guess what i'm saying is if i hadn't drunk-texted my friend in new york, and she hadn't responded at the time she did, i would've missed the meeting and been fired. i would've also failed to deliver business cards to a client who was presenting the revamping of her company that morning.

so i really do wish i had drank a sloppy amount on wednesday night-- perhaps then i would've harassed the right friend and been woken up on time thursday.

initially, i accredited my wednesday morning to the fact i had to wake up an hour earlier than normal to get to the networking meeting. but after thursday's failure of a start, i think it's safe to say i'm just exhausted.

i've mentioned that i once slept through an entire college final on account of BODY COLLAPSATION, and that's true. i had been up for nearly three days straight trying to finish my student documentary. it'd already fallen apart three different times and i had no choice but to do a sort of last-minute, five-minute, caffeinated adventure of nothingness-- and hope for the best.

i took a five minute nine hour nap while the film was rendering and missed my improv final. luckily, travis told the professor what was going on-- and i think most people knew me better than to skip a final that involved getting on stage and acting weird.

things are a little like those days now.

wednesday was nearly a twelve-hour shift. two of the hours were spent at the meeting, the remaining ten were at work. and of those ten, about three were spent delivering print-jobs by foot-- walking over ten miles in total. and throughout that entire day, my illustration boss continuously texted me things like "new drawings due. don't be late. going to need to hear updates from you if you have any problems."

at one point, he even asked me to start an entirely new project with him. i told him no. then i told him i work 55 hours a week and already have two illustration jobs and no time to sleep. he didn't respond till night-time:

"seriously, though, let's get started on the new project."

"but i said i didn't want to be a part of it. remember? because i'm overwhelmingly busy?"

i'm nearly convinced he's incapable of understanding things i say.

but it makes sense that my brain refused to let my body wake up thursday morning. it makes a lot of sense. i may be immortal, but i'm not a super-human.

the guys at starbucks have stopped charging me for coffee because of how often i come in each day. it's like that.

so how about this new game: if you text me at 6:30am on a weekday (and your text is the first i receive) i'll draw you a cartoon of a financial district person.

but if you call me at 6:30am, i will likely yell incoherent words at you and hang up. so don't do that. just send a text and all will be as magical as mushroom pie.