intoxicated poop segment: part cix

i'm a little surprised that this is considered news. yes, 72% of the [tested] shopping carts in supermarkets have traces of fecal bacteria on their handles. and yes, that is more poop residue than what's commonly found on a public toilet. but we already discussed this in 2006. this already happened! the only "news" is that no one has done anything about it since, and the poo-germ species has grown from 66% to 72% domination.


and sometimes i wonder why people even publish these studies. when my roommate discovered that his toothbrush was being covered in tiny poop-particles because bathroom air automatically consists of at least six aerial poop molecules, he moved the brush to his bedroom.

so, when he's asleep, i take his toothbrush and fart all over it.

nothing has been solved. there's poop everywhere-- whether you know it or not. and sometimes it's better you just don't.

hidden poop aside, i'm much more worried about the journalist who used a stock photo of a regular child eating a maple-donut and made him appear as though he's got diarrhea all over his mouth.

"there was brown stuff on the handle, so i ate it, dad!"

good times.