4:35 PM

one of the reasons i was hired was so my assistant manager didn't have to work ten-hour shifts five days a week-- we were meant to swap back and forth. on some nights i would work ten and he would work eight, and vice versa.

that usually never happens.

but on wednesday, he left at 5pm-- promising i could leave at 5pm thursday in return. in my mind, i remembered the time he left at 3pm and promised a similar thing only to call in sick the next day and leave me there till 6pm with double the work-load.

"am i good to go at 5?" i asked my boss.

"no," he said, "you need to meet with ami-- she won't meet with anyone else. you know that."

i wish i could say she requests me because i'm magical and special, but it's only because she's paranoid and secretive. it took us two weeks to get her phone number and i still don't know what floor her offices are on. i can't even comfortably tell you what company she works for.

i will say these two facts:

1. her company has visitor name-tags that change colors based on how long you've worn them so security knows when they're expired no matter what you say.

2. she has never been on time when we schedule a meeting.

i should've known i wasn't leaving at 5pm.


the pink behind "visitor" is time-released, and reads "EXPIRED"
so, after calling her office line three times and leaving a voice message, i sat awkwardly in the lobby of her hidden headquarters. i called her cell twice and left a message there as well. and then i waited awkwardly some more.

waiting for ami is like waiting for the god damn commercials to end before a movie in theatres.

but, eventually, she came strolling out with her boxes of new documents and we discussed what needed to be done. i sometimes wonder how someone so unpunctual can be so successful. but i'm sure people wonder how someone so unhygienic could be so disease-free when they think of me.

"so we should be all set," she chirped, "can we have the last 200 binders by tomorrow?"

i've been taught to say "of course" no matter what.

"yeah," i said, "probably."

but i don't always do it.

"hey," she continued, "this might be weird..."

oh, i think i know where this is going.

"what's up?"

"you look a lot like keanu reeves."

i do hate hearing that. it's sort of like a polite way of implying i might be as dumb as i look. but, when i'm at work-- at any job-- i'll take a surprising amount of keanu-remarks in great stride. i don't know why.

"whoa," i said.