it was probably because of this one post i wrote about the united states of america and the love of bacon. most people find me by trying to find bacon bikinis.
anyway, because all the bacon bikini searches actually do wind up leading them to pictures of bacon bikinis, i thought it fair i see if i could help you, too.
and, worse case scenario, you'll never see this post but someone else will find this during their quest for bacon-drawing lessons and the world will be a wonderful place full of mediocre drawings of bacon and hope.
if i were to write a book about drawing-- which i have little to no right to do-- i would preface the story with the importance of spatial reasoning and the possibility that doodlers are true geniuses. the ability to draw a doodle, or a cartoon, comes down to the understanding of what to leave in and what to leave out. it has much more to do with your mind than it does your hand or your fancy pen. that's where i call it genius.
so, how to draw bacon.
the first step-- highlighted below-- is to draw a somewhat ambiguous shape. preferably one that is less ambiguous and more bacon-like. if you're very bad at drawing, i suggest you try to draw a rectangle and you will likely come across something like the bacon-outline below anyhow.
boom. you have completed the hardest part in drawing a cartoon bacon.
the most important thing about the first step is that you're careful to make the lines seem as though you weren't very careful about them. it's kind of like dialogue during a first date in that way. if your bacon does not look a bit wavy, it won't look right.
continuing.
divide your bacon-shape into thirds-- hot dog style. or bacon style, i suppose. but just not hamburger style. what you're drawing is the fat.
step three is just adding color. and you can decide if you'd like the fat to be on the outside or inside-- that's up to you. you can also decide not to make your bacon as brown as mine-- but i like mine crispy.
just don't make your bacon black and white because it will look stupid and confused. people will see it and say, "wow, what a great drawing of a creepy smile with black lipstick!" or "why is your oreo all flimsy?"
but that's pretty much it. that is how you draw bacon.
if you'd like to anthropomorphize your bacon, you can add eyeballs wherever you please. you can even add a mouth. but don't add a nose-- that's just weird. bacons don't have noses even when they're cartoons. what to leave in and what to leave out.
i'm actually lightly convinced that drawing has little to do with hand-eye coordination and much more to do with understanding how to trick someone into seeing what you want them to see. my bacon has a total of six lines and two colors. but i'd like to believe that's all that's necessary. and it has nothing to do with whether or not i have very much control over my hand-- especially since bacon is inherently wiggly.
it's all just tricks.
check this out:
the beauty of cartoons is that anyone can draw them-- unlike classical art or portraits or still life or anything that is an "exact" replica of an item. in the world of cartoons it's just lines and tricks-- not hand-control.
and if you fuck it up, you can go ahead and call it your style.
i bet most of you are secretly upset that this post didn't end with some "GOTCHA!" moment or a cruel joke. my apologies for that.
NEXT WEEK: HOW TO EFFICIENTLY KILL PUPPIES WITH PUBIC HAIR WEAPONS!
No comments:
Post a Comment