Something About Stuff

according to new* studies, one in five divorces involve facebook.

how long is it going to be before psychologists finally update the DSM-IV? the very fact they have not altered their theories based on the extreme changes caused by the internet is one of the many things that gets them called a pseudoscience all the time.

"hey! let's all hang out at a cafe so we can get on our laptops and iphones and blackberries and text the friends that didn't come to see what they're up to rather than having a conversation with the people in front of us!"

am i the only one who feels slightly alarmed that this is considered normal and acceptable behavior?


once, when i was a little kid, my dad proved to me that i was lying by dipping my finger in a glass of water and then taking the water's temperature. i didn't think i was lying, but he had proof and i couldn't argue with that.

i wasn't lying and he was bullshitting a six year-old, but there was no way i could prove him wrong. and it wasn't about whether or not he was right-- it was about the fact he was my dad and he demanded respect as an authority figure.

nowadays, kids can yahoo answers the crap out of their parents' stories and come back and be like "wtf, mate?"

the internet, whether it's full of fact or fiction, has caused a break in the old school form of respect for our elders in that way.

back to facebook and relationships, though-- why can't you be in an "It's Complicated" relationship with more than one person? facebook won't allow it. wouldn't the fact it's complicated [enough to mention] indicate that there is more than one person involved? even if it's not implied, it certainly is a great possibility. i would expect that if facebook was negative-minded enough to list "It's Complicated" as a relationship option, they would be smart enough to allow us to be complicated with a few people.


that kind of puts the "oh, we're on and off" relationships to shame and makes you wonder what's so complicated about a relationship that only involves one other human.

i was talking with a forty-eight year-old woman who was very worried that she would have a difficult time reentering the dating scene. she'd been out of it for twenty-three years-- on account of her recently ended marriage-- and now has no idea where to start.

their divorce, for the record, was not one of the 20% caused by facebook.

"just know that people google you," i told her, "it's 2010. everyone googles everyone."

"that's where he found that picture of me!" she shouted, "i couldn't figure out how this new guy found that picture."

"i think digital today makes a lot of it harder," i said, "besides the fact everyone can go private investigator on you and find out all your best secrets before you have a chance to charm them with those secrets yourself, most people don't leave the house without something plugged into their ears. you can't even talk to someone on the street half the time."

one interesting thing the internet has altered is that older generations have a new respect for their youngins. i like talking with people double my age because i feel like we're trading information that couldn't be gotten on the internet with half the fun or success. and i don't care if it's fact or not-- it's opinion and it's interesting.

"you would like my daughter," she said.

i wasn't too sure where that came from, but figured maybe her daughter was also a fan of talking to strangers and felt cornered by how increasingly hard that continues to become.

"but you would have to like blondes," she continued, "do you go for blondes?"

"they tend to get me in trouble," i said.

that may not be exactly true, but if i were to name my least favorite ex-girlfriends... well, they're all blondes.

"she has a great ass, though," she told me as she fumbled for her blackberry, "let me see if i can find a picture."

i tried briefly to start her talking about her divorce again in hopes to get away from the opportunity to stare at her daughter's ass. but it didn't work.

"see," she showed me a low-angle shot of her daughter rock-climbing, "look at that ass!"

"yeah," i said, completely unaroused by the situation, "i should really climb more often."

"are you single?" she asked, ignoring my attempt to change the subject.

"well," i said,"it's complicated."

it's not. but that worked.

*may actually be old.