One More, This Time Smile

jim carrey once described his role in ace ventura: when nature calls as "imitating myself" and "looking backward" before promising to never act in another sequel. and while what some would call "toilet-humor" is also what those same some would probably not call "sound advice" i've played most of my employed life by those rules.

i did return to the independent pet shop once-- and jim carrey is debating about returning to a series of unfortunate events-- but for the most part, i don't see much use in repeating something you've done before unless it's leading you somewhere you've never been.

but about a week ago, travis [the original, not the current] and i went on a long-awaited photowalk and discussed random things including a 45 year-old man who felt young again by blasting songs about turning back time in his convertible porsche.

somewhere on that walk, we came across a limousine and i asked the driver to let me throw travis in the trunk for hostage pictures in hopes to get a few thousand dollars from his parents.

this would not have been the first time i took "hostage photos" of a friend.

gaby from 2002

in fact, if you've ever been with me in public longer than thirty minutes, you've likely heard me say, "hang on a second" in the middle of a long conversation only to run off to bother a stranger and see if i might be able to question their comfort zone. i think that's what i was doing.

but the driver was laid-back and easy to accept the idea of photographing travis in his trunk so long as his clients didn't notice. and so in went travis.


on our way off to wherever we might have been headed, the limo driver stopped us.

"hey, question," he shouted.

"what's up?" i turned back.

"i want to get a nice camera," he continued, "but i don't know how to use all these things. what should i get?"

i wanted to tell the man he was asking the advice of a former camera salesman and that he was in good hands, but i opted not to mention the detail because my advice might prove it anyhow. and if not, well shit, i should probably leave that fact aside.

i told him all about entry level dslrs and their prices and packages before showing him a few things on my own camera. i don't actually know if any of it made sense to him or if he'll remember me as much beyond the crazy-haired guy who locked a friend in the trunk of a limousine, but it was poetic in a way. it was one professional helping another.

the following day, i received a phone call from an unknown number and opted to ignore it as i was somewhere inside a pacific heights mansion after a hard night of drinking and nearly being arrested for urinating in the garden of said mansion. but the message that was left informed me that a photography shop was anxious to interview me.

it is truly a magical world, at times. it's not every day you avoid being sent to jail, sleep in a mansion, and get offered a new job.

accepting the job would go against one of the few rules i have in the working world and that's jim carrey's rule: don't do sequels. i've been a camera salesman before. but i've also mentioned before i take jobs i'm unqualified for in hopes to learn something new and the shoe store is, quite frankly, not cutting it. even with the time i worked at a liquor store and the time i was a zombie at a haunted house included, this has got to be one of the least mentally stimulating jobs i've ever had. so it is time for a change even if that change means something i've already done.

i suppose we'll see where the interview goes, but i would very much not mind being a camera salesman again. that was quite possibly my second favorite job ever. the zombie one is actually the first-- but come on.

what can i say: i miss when busy days meant lots of conversation and lots of cash, and the slow days meant making light-graffiti penises and giggling with co-workers.


besides, let's be honest: you were getting bored of my work as a shoe-lover anyway. let's shake it up like the cars said.