Coffee Condom

one of my roommates, travis, works at a cafe. in fact, he's worked in the coffee business since he was little. also, in fact, i've had roommates named travis since i was little. but, the point is, travis has ideas of coffee in the same way i have ideas of people named travis-- it just comes with the experience.

for instance, 100% of the travises i've lived with have had brown hair.

and, till recently, 100% of the coffee-drinkers travis has known have all referred to it as a "coffee sleeve."

naturally, hearing someone call it a "coffee jacket" threw his mind out of its comfort zone in the same way seeing a blonde travis might do mine. we had a pretty great conversation about which was the correct term for the little protective slip of corrugated cardboard and, ultimately, travis was sticking with "sleeve."

i suppose the truth lies within whether or not the coffee cup itself is a torso or an arm-- it's personified no doubt, but there isn't a lot saying in what way. if the cup is a torso, the cardboard is a jacket. but if the cup is an arm, the cardboard is a sleeve. so the real debate becomes what part of the body we've declared a coffee cup.

i like to imagine the cup as a torso because it makes it easier to also imagine the cup talking to me about stocks and other business-related things.


also, i'm probably a lot less invested in the name of the cardboard piece-- which makes it easier to imagine talking coffee cups-- whereas travis has to hear both terms being thrown about every day and probably would like to hear that it's really called one or the other. preferably the coffee sleeve.

well, courtesy of the internet, i've been able to research much more than just which animals orgasm the fastest and whether or not bears can run downhill (they can, don't try to outrun one unless you're with a slow friend that you never really considered a friend anyway).

according to my research (wikipedia and that's all), the sleeve or jacket was invented in 1993 and was originally named the "java jacket" courtesy of one jay sorensen. sorry, travis. it's really called a jacket.

wikipedia does go to say that it can be called a coffee sleeve, hot cup jacket, coffee clutch, and even a cup holder so long as you are sure to mention that this is not a cup holder that is fixed in one position like those in a car or a movie theatre. so i suppose anything is correct if it's logical enough.

on a side note, the movie made of honor (yes made, and not maid) has a scene in which one character invents the java jacket but calls it the "coffee collar". in my mind, that is actually more accurate than the jacket or sleeve because both a jacket and a sleeve are designed to keep the wearer warm-- but a coffee jacket or a coffee sleeve are designed to do the opposite. while a collar doesn't necessarily protect someone's hands from burning when they try to carry you by the neck, it's still a little closer to the coffee purpose. especially since dog and cat collars hold a lot of descriptive information the same way coffee collars do-- if we're calling them collars.

you know, i'm going to stop typing this post. i'm not sure what the point was originally-- just that it was once called a "java jacket" and that ends the debate. the rest of whatever it is i wrote is probably only result of having it's a grind's "high octane" coffee.

the end.