i argued with myself and my friend alex whether or not this would be an egotistical thing to do-- a sort of unnecessary q & a-- but he sold me on the idea that "it doesn't matter, because blogs are inherently egotistical."
so how about it. here are the three most popular questions:
do you have a job?
yes, i have two. but i could really use a third. or just a different one of the two. i think when i lost my internet i had let everyone here know that snapdragon was ending and it has-- it ended december 1 and today i'll be turning in my last renderings of snapdragon purchasing prostitutes. a solid end.
david had told me he would connect me with any of his former co-workers and friends if they were in need of an illustrator, but i mostly considered that a nice thing to say to someone you're laying off.
and then this came:
Russell - Steven is the illustrator and inspiration behind Snapdragon. He's an amazingly talented illustrator, a great guy, and a ton of fun to work with.
I'll let you take it from here...
-David
i couldn't believe he... actually did what he said he would. i mean, by no means did david do anything short of what he promised every time he promised. but i've gotten into the habit of not trusting anyone and their promises. i can thank previous employers for that.
so now, i work for russell.
essentially, what you can do is send us a paragraph about the defining moment in a relationship of yours-- be it with your significant other, your parents, whomever-- and i will draw that moment as a simple and quick cartoon and have it sent to you as a greeting card, a poster, a bookmark, whatever.
for instance:
it's a really cute concept-- though i don't know i'm fit for something so emotional and romantic considering i wake up wondering if i've broken up lesbian couples-- but i'm psyched to be a part of something so unique....I had been too nervous to kiss her, but as we began to walk in the grass, she took my hand. I knew this would lead to the moment; I swear there was a sparking, tingly current of excitement and expectation running between our intertwined fingers. It was dusk, and seemingly in response to the electric attraction between us, what looked like hundreds of fireflies began to dance their way up from the grass. It made us both giddy; we couldn’t seem to control our laughter at the obvious romanticism of the moment. And finally, as she lowered her chin from a hearty belly giggle, I swept in quickly for our first kiss, holding it until I was forced to remember to breathe.
so that's my new illustration job: not nearly as great pay, and much newer to the game than snapdragon was, but fun nonetheless. you can check it out here, but be aware it is in a very early stage of development.
also, i'm still at the shoe store. i don't see that one lasting through the end of the month, though.
are you really intoxicated during your intoxicated poop segments?
without getting too far into the specifics, it's difficult to answer this question. i can say that i am not necessarily more intoxicated during the intoxicated poop segments than i am during any other post. it's not a lie or a joke that i come to this blog a bit tipsy, but i don't care to explain my definition of "tipsy" at this time.
the reason the intoxicated poop segments are called what they are, is because the very first one was the very first post i'd written high. yes, high, not drunk. it was also the first post that didn't have proper capitalization or paragraph breaks. but it was designed as filler-- for days i had nothing to write about-- which i'm sure you all know by now and my 80-something poop posts. in that, it needed a name that would stand out to some level. intoxicated poop segment: part i. but there was no moment that i sat down and said, "okay, from here on out i'm going to pound four shots of whiskey and write about poop" or "bong-rip, bong-rip, post."
the title is about as accurate this blog's subtitle. i haven't been a tour guide in almost two years. but things stick.
how many people read this blog?
answering that right now would be like answering how i'm feeling after being hit by a mail truck: it's just generally not going to be a very fair response if you're curious about things as a whole.
given my lack of internet and techboy's amazing knack for boring us to new levels (smoochies!), i dance between 30 and 70 hits. the highest amount of traffic happened as a result of my handwritten letter to starbucks: that day was 271 people, but it was rare at the time. the steadiest peak (which was during the time i was trying to be fired from my job) had me at a constant 120 or so.
if you're curious, my busiest days are mondays-- followed by wednesdays-- and a great majority of the people reading are doing so from an office job. most people use macs, and live in either the bay area, portland, or new york. there are a scattered few from places like wisconsin or outside of the united states.
also, england has the highest amount of accidental arrivals by searching for "dog dildos" out of any other country.
oh, and while blogger says i have 45 followers, i promise you that is not true. i mean, it is. but it's not. when i first started this blog, i actually forced several people to follow it in hopes to paint the image that people were actually reading, and therefore subsequently causing other people to read. i actually forced masha, my ex, to follow the blog and make sure to include a photo so that her thumbnail didn't show up as that androgynous silhouette. i thought it would look better to have girls following. then guys automatically follow.
it made sense in my head.
anyway, when things are healthy, this blog gets something like 80-90 visitors a week day and 60 on weekends.
i'm not too sure why. but i do appreciate it. it makes me feel a few notches less crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment