Once, I was a Super Hero

Fade in.

they say screenwriters begin all stories with that line because it helps them to stop staring at a blank page and to actually begin writing. i suppose it worked here.

so, i entered a t-shirt design in a threadless contest.

if they decide my design should be printed on their super-soft t-shirts and sold in their super-amazing t-shirt store, i'll be awarded $2,000 and an optional $500 in threadless currency or an additional $200 in united states currency. but, most importantly, my happy little character will be on shirts across the world-- and that is so damn rad i feel like i should invent a new word to describe it.

squippledashtastic.

also, if i'm selected, i'll probably opt for the threadless currency so i can get a good handful of the shirts to give out to friends, family, and particularly impressive stalkers.

This is what it looked like when I got superpowers this one time. It was pretty neat because my entire village saw it happen. But then, later on, I found that sometimes the act of getting superpowers can be more exciting than the superpowers themselves. My superpower ended up being the ability to eat a whole pineapple without any help. Also, it won't make me sick.

i want more than anything to see someone wearing my t-shirt. i imagine that must feel like what jim carrey felt when he heard first graders doing impressions of ace ventura on the monkey bars.

now, i know what you're wondering: how can i help you?

that is an excellent question, thank you for wondering!

for starters, you'll need to click this link.

1. vote for my design.

i'm not asking you to put shitty scores on other artwork in hopes to help me. i think that's just rude and i don't want any of that. all i need is that you rate me a 5, or click the little "i'd buy it" icon. go crazy.

2. like the design on facebook.

most of the designs have something like 400 likes and i have about sixteen. i want to say something about the tortoise and hare here, but i've never believed that to be a very truthful story. slow and steady does not win the race-- speedy but napping just loses the race. the rabbit shouldn't have napped. my dad always taught us as runners to sprint full-speed through the finish line. so like away, please!

3. tweet about the design.

preferably good things.

4. post it on your blog.

threadless even provides you with a nifty pre-made banner if you'd prefer to do it quickly. you are also very welcome to accompany the link with an embarrassing story about something thoughtless i've done in the past. there are lots of those stories floating about and they tend to help a surprising amount.

5. leave lots of comments on threadless.

if you're at a loss for words, i would suggest comments about how you would buy the shirt and/or have sex with anyone who wears the shirt. and how you would request they don't remove the shirt whilst you do the dance. or maybe something deeper.

6. don't text while walking your dog.

this has nothing to do with my design-- it's just inconsiderate. the dog deserves more attention. and you take up the entire sidewalk because of the slacked leash.

also, if you don't believe me about the pineapple i am willing to do it on camera.

thank you all for the support. and if you don't plan on supporting me, thank you for greedily reading this blog-- that's pretty cool, too.