intoxicated poop segment: part ciii

i was having a debate regarding the scientific uses of poop, as i often do, and wound up learning something even i had a difficult time believing.

fecal transplants.

it's what it sounds like. if you can imagine the process of a kidney transplant, it's a lot like that-- except with poop.

actually, the film you, me, and everyone we know eluded to the process pretty accidentally, but somewhat appropriately.

the argument goes that the obsession with lysol, hand sanitizer and wet wipes has actually managed to breed a super-parasite. and i would like to mention i have been warning people of this for years. if you kill off 99.9% of all bacteria, you've not only killed some of the good bacteria but you've also left 0.09% of the strongest bacteria. then, when that bacteria multiplies, you'll have a buttload [ha!] of super-powered germs. then what? you'll kill another 99.9%? and create a family of super-super-powered germs?

eventually, this leads to c-diff-- which causes diarrhea so overpowering that not even the world's strongest antibiotics can stop it.

this is why, friends, you should make a point to eat off the ground once in a while. get gross so that your body won't get grosser. no one wants super-powered diarrhea.

here's what science has to say:

Now a small but growing number of doctors are trying a last-ditch treatment: Using good bacteria to fight off the bad by transplanting stool from a healthy person into the sick person's colon.

roughly 15,000 people die of c-diff every year and poop transplants are the only successful treatment thus far. essentially, the bacteria from the healthy poop take over the unhealthy colon and end up annihilating the unhealthy bacteria. and then pooping goes back to normal and everyone is happy and toilet paper stock goes down a few.

a picture of poop bacteria, courtesy of wikipedia.

oh, and apparently because the process is still new there are multiple ways of going about the transplant. sometimes a doctor will take a healthy stool sample and drip it into the colon of the unhealthy patient. other times they will feed the poop into the patient's gut via their nose.

these are true facts. read about them here. and here.