Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and Dodge!

in visiting the gin distillery as a fake professional, i accidentally discovered san francisco has adult kickball games. "adult" in this sentence, meaning "drunk". it's sort of like the physical version of pub trivia. and if it weren't the end of the season, i would've joined just to be a part of something so awesome.

but recently, i found that there are also adult dodgeball games. they play every monday for two months straight-- with team names like the Janitorial Honey Bees, DODGE DEEZ NUTTS, Stepdads, Sleazy Bandeezy, and the Bareback Jizz Club.


and, better yet, they hired me as their referee.

There will be referees provided for each match, but to use an old favorite, no douchebaggery allowed. If you get hit, drop any ball(s) you might be holding and get off the court. The ref has final say on calls. Do not start arguing with the refs. And always remember that we're just a bunch of adults playing a kids game. Just have fun and don't take it too seriously.

i imagine this job will be a lot like when i was a zombie at a haunted house-- it's just one of those gigs you have to take regardless of pay because it'll be a fun experience.

and i'm curious whether dodgeball or haunted houses result in a higher amount of testicle-kicking. sadly, i think it may be the haunted houses.

ultimately, i'd like to start my own dodgeball team to compete-- but this is a nice start. they've even given me one of those rad referee shirts that make you look like a human barcode.

no one is going to believe me when i say, "i draw cartoons and referee dodgeball tournaments."

but that may be one of those sentences better left unsaid anyway.