let me explain to you the life-cycle of a flea.
yep.
there has always been the mistaken idea that when we see chimps picking bugs out of each others backs, those bugs are fleas. they aren't-- they may be lice, or chimp-crabs for all i know, but they are not fleas.
the reason chimps and humans won't get fleas is the same reason dogs will sometimes eat their puppy's poop.
let me explain to you the life-cycle of a flea.
while the hop-scotching insect has four phases in its life (egg, larva, pupa, and imago or adult) the majority of its life is not spent as an adult. actually, about 50% of the flea population is in egg-form according to the latest american flea census bureau, while only 5% are in adult-form.
somewhere between egg and adult, the flea hides. it's incapable of handling sunlight and it needs constant warmth and nutrition to aide its flea-puberty before it can ever think about jumping around biting people and generally being a jerk. this can take anywhere from two to eight weeks depending on the environment.
back to chimps and puppy poop.
the reason for the two is that till the flea is done growing up, it nests in hosts' poop. a chimp poops from trees and commonly does not stay in one area-- or in other words: chimps don't shit where they sleep, hence they do not get fleas. puppies, often times, do. and when an older dog sees a puppy shitting it its bed, it will eat the poop to not only prevent the growth of fleas but to teach the pup the consequences of pooping in your sleeping quarters are so horrible that eating poop is actually better than letting the mistake go. plus, there are some pretty rad nutrients in dog poop.
flea.now, i haven't written about carmen the cat in a while.
but perhaps this one should not be about her. all she's done is pooped. hell, i'm guilty of that as well. i read somewhere that everybody poops. i suppose the major difference is that i poop in a toilet and flush it away before any sort of parasite, insect, or virus has a chance to go through puberty within the confines of my turd. carmen the cat, on the other hand, poops into a small indoor sandbox that is regularly cleaned by her owner, simon.
except, unfortunately for the most of us, "regularly" turns out to be quite the relative term.
"regularly" for most cat-owners may mean weekly, bi-weekly, and even daily depending on the pooping schedule of each cat and the obsessive compulsiveness of each owner.
in this case, "regularly" means about as often as rent is paid. it means so infrequently that there is commonly more poop in the box than sand and carmen the cat is forced to deal with the fact she can no longer bury her turds like her cat-instinct asks. she can only bury new poop with old poop and-- as much as i hate her-- i feel bad.
techboy has literally text-messaged me to ask if the litter box has been cleaned before deciding whether or not he wants to come over. it's that bad.
so, fleas.
we got them.
that means, on average, simon empties the litter box two to eight weeks depending on the environment.
in hindsight, one of us should've just cleaned the box for him-- but none of us asked for the responsibilities of a cat. personally, i don't enjoy carmen. i don't like her greasy hair all over my fresh laundry and i don't like finding my pizza torn to pieces and left on the ground. it's for those reasons that i refused to clean her poop.
again, looking back, it was an immature choice of mine and i really wish i had just owned up and cleaned her litter box instead of trying to make a point.
when the fleas were discovered, i as resident bug-and-poop-knowledge-extraordinaire, quickly informed simon that there is no way for adult fleas to infest an animal's coat and our apartment before first infesting poop for weeks. i even offered to prove it with my various poop and anthropology books-- but, luckily, he took the hint and immediately emptied the litter box.
...only to fill a plastic bag with the cat turd and litter-lumps and put the bag in the kitchen, next to the sink.
no!
there is no point in emptying the damn thing if you're going to take the mess and put it in the kitchen. the kitchen! probably the worst room to have moved the load.
i am literally more dumbfounded than mad-- simon is by all means a great guy, or else i wouldn't live with him. as a pastry chef it is not uncommon for him to come home with delicious complimentary desserts and we can always enjoy a good dvd with each other. but, i cannot understand the logic-- if it exists-- behind any of this. we have fucking fleas in our apartment and the response is "guess i'd better take carmen's poop and leave it where we eat instead of the bathroom."
i am itchy and dumbfounded.
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