It'sa Me!

today is mario's twenty-fifth birthday, which means he is only slightly younger than me and my ex-girlfriend who told me he was born on march 10th (hence the correlation between "mar. 10" and "mario") was a liar.

if it were up to the date to determine mario's name, he would've actually been sep13, or sepie, or something.

evidently, he was released in japan as jumpman... because, you know, he jumps. sort of like bomberman bombs, and donkey kong kongs donkeys. the name mario wasn't adopted till the american release of the game and he was named after mario segale, the landlord of the nintendo offices.

that sort of puts the whole, "do japanese people think all italians are plumbers?" bit to a rest.

how about that for trivia?

but what gets me is that in twenty-five years, the vegan community has not majorly stepped up to ruin the magic of mario like virtually everything else. vegans, who won't eat honey because bees made it, have no problem with a little trousered man stomping on turtles left and right influencing children at an early age. you can, potentially, beat the game without ever killing a turtle-- but nintendo entices you with extra points for the death of each.

i mean, wasn't there a moment when vegans were trying to change the names of major cities like hamburg? and i seem to remember them having qualms with sports teams that had animal mascots, too. this could all be in my imagination-- it's hard to tell whether i've dreamt this, or if people so ridiculous really do exist sometimes.

but come on, vegans, where are you on this one? he's mindlessly slaughtering animals on the way to a castle which, guess what, is the wrong castle. and then he goes about stomping more reptiles and mystical creatures on his way to what is hopefully the castle with the princess, but is probably not.

when i first moved to san francisco and was but a poor college student, a vegan interrupted my enjoying of a ham sandwich to show me pictures of pigs being slaughtered and called me careless and inconsiderate. it was a great bit of comedy, because i would argue that ruining the meal of a 120lb college student was much more inconsiderate than whatever it was i was doing by eating a sandwich.

though i suppose i'm a bit easier to pick on than mario.

i say, today we all play some mario and eat some steaks to celebrate.

actually, i don't really play video games so i'll probably just have some steak. but i'll think about mario while i eat it.