It All Starts with "Ooh"s and "Ahh"s

my upstairs neighbors are a good part of why i'm leaving my apartment. it's not that they're particularly more annoying than any other neighbors i've had in my lifetime, it's that they seem to believe everything that goes wrong in their life is somehow directly caused by me.

"i have a fifteen year-old daughter," my neighbor would scream, "and she can't be kept awake by you and your irresponsible habits."

which is weird, because her fifteen year-old daughter is my facebook friend (i know, it's a sad world) and she's a part of a group named "I don't care if it's 4am, you're my friend and I'll take care of you." that's endearingly contradicting.

maybe we're not friends. though facebook would say otherwise.

i could go on and on complaining about those neighbors and the horrifying sounds of two-hour rape sex that comes fluttering through the ceiling at 11am or the time their cat died and they came to me for comfort and a neighborly hug.

but that's not the point of this post-- it wasn't anyway.

the reason i mentioned them is that besides being a fan of staying up till 4am soothing friends, the daughter is also a part of a group titled, "Living in San Francisco is like living in a Jurassic Park for humans."

the fact she joined this group showed up on my mini-feed as news i might be interested in and it confused me immediately.

i don't understand the statement. what exactly is a "jurassic park for humans"? to my knowledge, jurassic park was a zoo for dinosaurs and if that's the case a human jurassic park would be a jail.

i clicked the group's link to learn more about how i could be wrong.

unfortunately, it confused me even further.

"Face it. San Francisco is like a giant park filled with flora and fauna like no other city and crazy wild life that'll always have you lookin around."

...what?

grammatical errors aside, that makes absolutely no sense and is also untrue. i mean, unless the wild-life statement is in reference to the pigeons and homeless people and the fauna is the golden gate park. but even still, how does that constitute a "jurassic park for humans"? i mean, in that sense, wouldn't hawaii be a jurassic park for humans? or wouldn't... anywhere be a jurassic park for humans.

i just don't get it-- but i've also never fully understood my upstairs neighbors.

what confuses me most of all is that the only photo the group offers to prove their point is a series of somewhat jurassic park-looking jeeps (that read "yahoo") and they're parked in front of the brooklyn bridge.

i think they need to smoke less weed.