Mount Tampants & it All

maybe the curse is never knowing quite how to express what an amazing time i had. i'll throw at you two or three half-coded sentences about vague happenings and hope you feel it. but it hardly works.

have you ever felt like the universe is thanking you while quietly apologizing for all of the times it was outwardly a dick? if you have, you know it's hard to write out.

if you haven't, i salute you. but i will not promise it will ever happen. i promised someone i'd stop making promises, so you'll have to excuse me.

just know it's amazing. it feels like discovering a super power; like writing in cursive only to discover your elegant words taste just like ice cream.

brittany and i went to mt. tampalamaipamsiaisas. and i think, perhaps, i'll give you the pictorial jist instead of my usual run-on sentences with all too many semi-colons, invented hyphenated words, and commas were they don't belong,

i did, of course, manage to get my standard STALKER SHOT of brittany. that's practically a must considering the whole bit about the world wide web, abandoned swimming pool locker rooms, and other such secluded meetings.

note: smoking cigarettes may cause Suck at Stairs.


snakes were rumored, but we only saw banana slugs.

banana slugs are to forests as giraffes are to zoos: you haven't really been to either if you don't come back with a picture of one. and there's something childish and awkward about the two of them. banana slugs are like great lazy loogies, sneaking their way past the feet of overlooking hikers-- only noticed by the spectacular few who might be looking for another $20 bill amidst the woods; only visible to the bug-lovers, and The Fanatics of Gross.

that slug and i had one sensual moment-- a woodsy photoshoot. i think he might write about it on his blog.


while the plan was to trek up the mountain, we arrived at the top by means of accident and google instructions. so we climbed down before climbing up. in some ways, it was a better choice because we were thrown directly into the thrill of scaling ladders past waterfalls and moss-covered bridges, before beginning the lung n' leg challenging climb up.

i want to say we were both convinced we had no idea where we were at times. we'd traveled through forests of redwoods and into thick spindly tim burtonesque woods with no direct understanding of where it might lead. but neither of us were going to say, "we're lost" because it was an adventure and we had water, beef jerky, and each other to keep us entertained.

at the top i thought it was possible i'd taken too many mushrooms years ago and simply died. that perhaps everything from 2006 and on had just been some strangely pleasant dream. past the rolling hills, san francisco looked like a gigantic playground with its pointy tower and red bridge poking about. and the epic red-tailed hawk, soaring by, laughing at the doomed field mice below.

and in the middle of it all, i was hanging out with my new amazing friend from the internet. i thought about brittany's initial comment on my blog. i had no idea what a huge door that comment was, and i'm still without the capability to express how happy i am that past-me responded to her note.

i'm convinced i have outlandishly unfair Luck. when my Bad Luck is bad, it's badder than bad, and when it's good, you'll simply never believe it happened.

in that way, maybe it is actually kind of fair.

the end