3:45 PM

"igor," my boss said, "take this order to battery and front street."

igor sighed a sigh that belonged to a nine year-old boy.

"my foot is wet," he groaned.

"it's not going to kill you," my boss said, "just take out this delivery, okay?"

"yes it will," igor continued, "you don't know me."

yep. that happened. and that's all i have to say.

oh, and also: igor is forty-something.

We Need to Make Books Cool Again

"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them." - John Waters

3:00 PM

kelly got her stickers, my boss calmed down, and the drenched hipster came by to pick up his bike lock even though it would only be as useful as a wallet during the great depression. and in some ways, the world was back at peace.

"this is not what i ordered," my boss said as he finally opened his barbacco bag.

it was at peace for a moment, anyway.

"i ordered the shrimp sandwich and they gave me duck," he said.

when i first met my boss, he criticized the amount of calories in a white mocha and i took the entire conversation as small talk. it wasn't. he's borderline obsessive compulsive about calories in the same way he's obsessive compulsive about wet-wiping the telephones. when he says, "i'm going to treat myself" it means he's going to have four california rolls and ignore how many carbs they include.

the duck sandwich was too greasy for his taste and certainly not as healthy as shrimp.

"this is ridiculous," he moaned, "duck. duck! i ordered shrimp."

"hey," i said, "it's like ordering fucking chinese food."

i caught him smile. he tried to hide it as soon as it crawled across his face, but i saw it while it lasted and that was enough for me.

"well," he said, "it looks like you're having duck for lunch. it's all yours, steven."

score.

back at peace again.

1:45 PM

once the phones came back to life and the douchebag who accused us of being "like ordering chinese food" realized he was wrong, things calmed down a bit. and because the day was relatively slow, i took my spare time to research whether or not the sea lion was still a mammal or if there was any legitimacy to the whole "insect" claim.

there wasn't. they're mammals.

and also MLA format still requires two spaces after a period. just most people don't care about MLA format.

i opened my mouth to tell my boss about my factual discoveries, but i could tell by his face and the phone in his hand that i should keep comedy to a minimum and ready serious-me for some action.

"kelly didn't get her order," my boss said as he hung up the phone.

"what do you mean?" i asked, "the delivery guy picked it up in the morning."

"call him," he said, "because she never got it."

a part of me wondered how important it was that she ever received her 1,500 stickers which read "CAUTION: DO NOT USE MAGNETIC NAMETAG IF YOU ARE USING A PACEMAKER", but i suppose lawsuits are abound. and a bigger part of me wondered how she never received the package.

"hi," i told the phone, "we had a delivery picked up this morning and it still hasn't arrived. i wanted to check the status on that."

"ohh," the phone said, "yeah. our guy had his bike stolen and he's been running the rest of his deliveries by bus. it's on its way, though."

"but this was a very urgent order," i explained, "i could've taken the bus there myself."

"he had his bike stolen," the phone continued, "i don't know what else to tell you except that it's on its way."

and then it hit me.

"you know what," i said, "he left his bike lock here this morning. damn. man, that just sucks."

when i got off the phone i wasn't sure who i felt worse for: my boss, our client, or the soaked hipster. i think, perhaps, the hipster-- losing his fixie probably felt like jack sparrow losing the black pearl.

"what did they say?"

"his bike was stolen. he's taking the bus."

"my god," my boss whined, "this is fucked. it's fucked."

"well," i said, "not that it's any consolation, but sea lions are still mammals-- i looked it up."

"steven," he said through his teeth, "shut up."

1:00 PM

i've never eaten at barbacco, and so my opinion of the place is entirely based on smell and sight. and it is commonly crowded with an overwhelming number of business people, and an equally overwhelming smell of too much fish. thursday was no exception.



objects in restaurant are more chaotic than they appear.

"hi," i said, "i'm here for a pickup."

i sniffed the air: too much fish again.

"okay," the host said, "under what name?"

"YOU'RE JOKING," a business man screamed, "it's got to be MY hotel umbrella!"

the host and i looked over to see a furious man, tossing through all the umbrellas by the door-- occasionally mumbling, "nope!" or "can't believe this" and looking to see if anyone had noticed him.

"i think it's under my name," i said, "steven."

"SOMEONE JUST COMES IN HERE AND STEALS MY HOTEL UMBRELLA!"

what the hell is going on in this city?

"and do you have your frequent diner card?" the host pretended nothing was going on.

"ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE! IT WAS MY HOTEL UMBRELLA. JUST STEAL IT! YEAH, OKAY, STEAL IT!"

for a brief moment, i wondered whether or not the man had any right to complain about having an umbrella stolen that was not technically his. even if he called it his, it still belonged to the hotel.

but i did my best to under-think everything and keep the event an in and out adventure.

"...i don't," i mumbled, "i'd just like to pick up the food... and get back to work."

"not a problem at all."

"OH, AND NOW I'LL GET ALL WET. WONDERFUL."

i think that experience is when i realized i am immeasurably more afraid of a business-suited man going berserk than any form of homeless man in any part of san francisco. i almost wanted to give the man my umbrella-- except it wasn't mine, it was my boss'. and i had to get out of that restaurant immediately.

Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio was born in April 11, 1981 in Erexim and Brazil. A Brazilian supermodel. Began her modeling career when she decided to take modeling lessons in Brazil. And of course led to their participation in the look of elite competition in the year 1996, which eventually led to her contract with Elite Model Management.
Alessandra Ambrosio was part of a flood of models that have emerged after the Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen opened the door. One of the models star of that group, of the form that Victoria's Secret colleague (and best friend) Ana Beatriz Barros members, and "5'10, light Ambrosio Brown Hair accumulated quite a career in the late 1990's in the next century. I was born in Erechim Ambrosio, Brazil, a small town in the south. as in their early teens, then joined in the category of modeling and then entered in the search 1996 and Elite modeling agency of the Year competition. Although she had not won, and offered to hold the elite after one year.
Was her first job modeling the cover of Marie Claire Brazilian, and Ambrosio followed with other editorial work, but it was not long after that occurred in Marcianos guess Ambrosio to fall Millennium campaign in 2000. She began her career with being a profitable print Guess? Wife and continued with secret deals with Revlon and Victoria. Ambrosio walked the runway for the first time in 2000 and continued to be a fixture in subsequent shows. And was also selected to be the spokesmodel for the line Ambrosio Pink 2004 by Victoria's Secret.
As for the walking fashion shows, Alessandra has a platform for designers such as Laura Biagiotti, Christian Lacroix, Byblos, Fendi, Issey Miyake, Kenzo, Christian Dior, Nicole Miller, Oscar de la Renta, and others. Guess? The company is not only to see the beauty of Alessandra. Also has contracts with Revlon cosmetics, Gap (as of late), and is expected to appear in ads for Calvin Klein eyewear and Giorgio Armani. You may have noticed, who caught the Victoria's Secret fashion show in Cannes on the Internet Alessandra in the show, the cast of basic goods in the line of underwear, Tyra Banks and Stephanie Seymour.
While the Brazilian beauty was once a girl elite, transformed and agencies and is now Marilyn Gaultier. Although her modeling career is on the rise, Alessandra plans to get a university degree. When it's not modeling, she spends time with her model / club promoter boyfriend of two years and a half, Jason Lee), and although it emotionally compatriot Marcelo model Boldrini). She enjoys the sand and lounging on the beach listening to Brazilian music.
The place of choice in the world is still small hometown, and having traveled the world has not convinced her otherwise. When not in her apartment in New York or busy building a house in her native Brazil, Alessandra left its mark all over the world with the International Organization for the covers of magazines, through advertising campaigns and large fashion designer league.
In this country that seems to breed beautiful women, and there must be something in the water of Brazil. The supermodel's most popular out of the country, South America, Gisele Bundchen, but the beauty long legs and her back with the best Watch Alessandra Ambrosio well on its way.

Arnold Palmer Invitational

Having suffered in Round 1 of 2011 invited Arnold Palmer, it's Tiger Woods of the scoring in the second round at Bay Hill. After the ghost on the third hole, put together the Bretton ghost-free operation, which included four birds. Is now 2 - under for the championship and to near the top of the leaderboard.
Talk about the summit, and Spencer Levin, sitting alone there in 7 - under for the tournament. Built on its strong 6-1 in the round with 1 under - under the second round. Close behind is Steve Levine Marino, followed by a group of players on 2 and 3 - under par.
Many of the big name golfers in the field did not start after the second round, including Phil Mickelson, published on 2 - under in the opening round, and Bubba Watson, who also sits on 2 - under par.