Aspiring Author Interview with Sara Khayat

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

Who am I? You know, for being such a simple question, I find it difficult to answer. The simple questions are always the most complicated, I suppose. Well, let’s see. My name is Sara. I’m 18 years old. I’m currently in college. My major is Creative Writing. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. I like the simple things in life and find joy in the underrated moments of this vast existence.

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

Well, I have two works in progress. One, is a book I started writing when I was 16 years old. I finished it about a month ago, and am currently trying to figure out exactly how to publish it. Yeah, yeah, I know, “Google it, Sara.” Well, I already have, and am still thoroughly confused. The book is about three fuck ups trying to make the insignificant moments of their lives seem more significant. It is an illustration, if you will, of how everyone has their own method of falling.

My second work would be the book I am currently writing about a woman who works at heaven’s gate, and a man who falls in love with her. The drawback? Well, he’s dead, of course. And an atheist. Sucks for him, right?

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

Hm, the first story I remember writing is a story called, Raining Pennies. I wrote it in Kindergarten. It’s pretty self-explanatory, a kid finds out it’s raining pennies (which you think would hurt, but hey, fiction has many flaws sometimes. Oh, and I was five years old.) above their house. I don’t know why pennies. You’d think quarters would be better. Or Sacagawea coins. Whatever, little-me had much to learn.

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

Unfortunately, I’m a pantser. Yeahhh. I was never one for organization. Live in the moment? It obviously reflects in my writing too. The main characters have many tangents and you never know where the book will lead. Mainly because I never know where I’m going to lead it until my fingers are two inches away from the keyboard.

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

I was first encouraged to write by my mother. She is a writer. When I was younger, before I knew the alphabet, I would draw a story with little stick figures, and she would complement it with words upon paper. When I grew older, I was ashamed of my passion for writing. I stopped in Junior High and began to play guitar. I wrote many songs to get my fix. When I was in High school, I began to write a story for the newspaper. I’m pretty sure no one read it. But, hey, at least I can say it exists, right? Today, my friends encourage me. I have a lot of “writer” friends. We constantly e-mail each other works back and forth and give feedback.

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

Hm, well, I have a strange taste in books. I read Kerouac, J.D. Salinger (Not just Catcher, don’t worry.), Bukowski, Nick Hornby, Dave Eggers, Hemingway, and much more!

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

Modest Mouse, Third Eye Blind, Violent Femmes. I can pretty much listen to anything.

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

Weaknesses: Organization, finishing what I start, ranting, lack of confidence. Strengths: Dialogue, details, differentiation of characters.

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

Well the obvious would be getting published, but aside from that, I’d like to achieve a sense of purpose. I believe that having a voice, or a purpose, would really set someone aside. Make them less ordinary, and more…content.

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

Well, I honestly, like everything about print. I like the fact that it’s tangible. I like the smell of a book after you’ve opened to the first page, just about to dip your nose into it. I like the feel of the pages on my fingertips. The sense of accomplishment as each page is turned. After I sent my book to my brother, he printed it out, read it, and handed it back to me, and it was a surreal feeling, holding it, touching it. It made me feel like I’d accomplished something.

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

"You’d better get busy, though, buddy. The goddamn sands run out on you every time you turn around. I know what I’m talking about. You’re lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddamn phenomenal world.” – Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

Okay, I cheated not one sentence, sorry!

What struck me about it? Gee. I don’t know, it’s just one of those subtle ideas in the back of everyone’s mind. There isn’t time enough, right? We blink, and we’re ten years older.

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

Well let’s see, High Fidelity, The Sun Also Rises, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Trainspotting, In Someone’s Shadow (Poetry), The Perks of Being a Wallflower

What advice do you have to other aspiring authors out there?

My advice? Hm, well, I’m sure all of you are more experienced than I am, but I’d say, just live it. Be it. Breathe it. Everything else will follow. And if it doesn’t, you deserved better, anyway.

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

OH NO! Wow, um, I would probably save Franny and Zooey (Salinger), Big Sur (Kerouac), Ham on Rye (Bukowski).

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

Well, my blog here is http://holdenlyric.blogspot.com/. Thank you for reading!

Abandoned Abandoned Plans

the real reason i was a little let down and bewildered by my saturday is likely that i had other plans. going to a bar and a party only happened as a result of a better saturday failing to leave the "planning out" moment to enter the "panning out" moment.

see, about two weeks ago, i received a blog-comment here that went like this:

Hello,

I just came across your blog while researching urban places to explore in San Fran. I've been looking for someone to help me find and photograph places that have been abandoned. in the bay area, and further up north as well. i'm a 22 year old girl who weighs about 100lbs. so i need someone to help me feel a little bit safer going in these places. You seem to have a good knowledge of the city, and i would be interested in getting to know you better. if you don't mind helpin me around the city, that is. i live in santa rosa and have a full time job...so id be willing to pay. if your interested shoot me an email and we can talk details ****@yahoo.com thanks for you time! :)

and a few things went through my head as they usually do.

i figured the best place to visit would be the locker rooms of the fleishhacker pool. but that part of thinking was the easy part.


considering how much i love talking with strangers, going on random adventures, and generally experiencing first-handed awkwardness, i probably analyze situations way too much. and after receiving the invitation to explore an abandoned swimming pool with an utterly unknown human, i turned to friends and facebook for advice.

facebook confirmed that this girl was a real girl and not just a spambot that'd somehow passed my moderation. but i was still a little worried by the fact she had listed her age and weight-- something about that struck me as something i might read on craigslist's casual encounters. and, moreover, the entire letter felt very much like president wishnack bait.

seriously, if i were to try and trap me in a murderous scheme, i would be a skinny girl who wants to be taken to a grungy secret hideout for a bit of photography and conversation. i would also offer money. fish in a barrel.

but, the more i thought it out, the more i realized i was just being paranoid. besides, through our emails, she'd promised she had no plan to murder me. and that's not something a murderer would say!

so i agreed to meet her this saturday and head out to the fleishhacker pool. a few people offered to join me, but i figured it would ruin the experience. if i was going to willingly go on a potentially awkward adventure, i wanted the full experience-- not one watered down by the comfort of having a friend chaperon.

i drink my coffee black, and my whiskey straight-- i like the real deal or nothing at all.

but on saturday morning, the adventure never happened. facebook told me why:

Hey sorry to say i have a family emergency, and i'm on the way to the hospital right now. So im not going to be able to make it to the city today. Maybe we can meet up some other time. Have a good one.

my immediate thinking was she'd gotten cold feet. shit, i was nervous about meeting her and i would certainly be nervous about meeting me. i've been told i actually look like a serial killer.


plus, i once quit working for atari by saying i had a family emergency that involved me moving to canada last minute.

i've had a lot of "family emergencies."

and as i gather it, only 2% of the time do family emergencies actually exist. and i'm saying 2% as someone who has had a lot of real family emergencies. so a normal person probably has like 1.5% truth to what they're saying in that realm. it's sort of like getting "food poisoning" after a keg-party.

but i did check her facebook wall and see that someone really had left a message that said roughly, "call me right now." and that there probably was some form of emergency-- just horribly timed like most emergencies. so i don't think she was lying.

i promise i am not usually this facebook stalky, but i was more than a little nervous about meeting a stranger via the internet. in an abandoned swimming pool locker room.

but that was supposed to be my saturday. it was supposed to be a historic day: like when i took a new zealand flight attendant in and let him sleep on my apartment floor after only having met him once on my golden gate bridge tour. i'd met allison and stole a fork from her house, but i already knew her older brother a bit. this was going to be the first time i'd ever met someone entirely unknown and took her on an adventure. it's opportunities like that which make me feel like my chaotic life is actually somewhat meaningful and poetic.

and i love that i may write on the internet constantly, and live in a digital world, but there are still those rare and special occurrences when we break the boundary lines and make a real-life connection.

but it's last-minute family emergencies that, yet again, prove to me that i can love chaos all i want-- but part of chaos is family emergencies that will ultimately ruin the kind of chaos i was hoping for.

and i can't pick and choose what sort of chaos i'd prefer.

ah well, another time.

Returning to the World

it's been strange going out on saturday nights when they are not just my saturday, but also the saturday as defined by a standard julian calendar. i'm used to bars being empty shy of that one old man with the great stories and bad teeth; i'm used to parties being more like pow-wows, and lines being non-existent.

i remember talking to a former tour guide/current friend, and she'd said, "i wish all the 9-5's knew what it's like to have an irregular weekend." and while i agreed that it would be helpful for more people to understand our torturous lives, i disagreed that having a regular weekend would be a whole lot easier.

"the life of the 9-5 is full of rush hours," i said, "the bus and bart are full, the post office is full, the bars are full..."

every schedule has its ups and downs.

but, wow. going out on a saturday night made it clear to me why so many non-drinkers hate alcoholics. i'm used to myself: an alcoholic who quietly types stories, or loudly debates philosophy-- not the ragers and stumblers of the city weekends. it's been a long time since i've brushed shoulders with collared-douchebags, or heeled sloppies with their smeary makeup and red bulls. after such an ever-long break from the real calendar, it was a bit overwhelming and i found myself asking the bartender at the buccaneer how she handles it all.

"i drink a lot," she said.

makes sense.


the bucc is built like a skinny walk-in closet, and because of the neighborhood it's a closet of bros n' bitches with too many striped shirts. unfortunately, they have a $20 credit card minimum. and, unfortunately, i didn't realize the sign until i'd already opened a tab and declared myself staying for at least five beers' time.

i watched travis and tyler play a few games of pool with a team of irish sharks-- each time promising themselves the next game would be the one they won. of the two irish men, the older and more drunken was the most talented. and the entire time, the jukebox blasted songs-- all of which that man seemed to know very well. he spent more time dancing to the songs and smacking his cue into lamps and sometimes faces than he did actually playing. but when he played, it was sloppy and effortless, yet amazingly accurate and to the point.

he even offered to buy all of us beer after winning without trying.

"what are you drinking, pal?" he asked me.

"oh, an anchor steam," i answered, "but i'm fine. thanks."

"you're not fine," he laughed, "let me get you another!"

i was a little confused what i had done that merited a free beer. i hadn't even played. in fact, travis and tyler had played but lost-- none of us deserved free beers, but i certainly did not. furthermore, i had to reach my $20 credit minimum, which meant i couldn't be accepting any free beers if i wanted my card back.

"i appreciate it," i said, "but i have to spend twenty dollars here."

"let me get you one," he insisted.

"no, no," i said, "it's really okay. i mean, i actually have to spend twenty dollars before i can leave. there's a minimum and i've only bought one beer. it's really okay. and, seriously, thank you."

it's very hard to convince a 60 year-old irish man that you would rather buy your own beer without looking rude.

outside, we were smoking when a clan of drunken 30 year-olds stumbled into the bucc. they were well-dressed and seemed on top of Life, but were having a difficult time handling their alcohol. it made me realize the reason so many people hate alcoholics is because they're not judging alcoholics-- they're judging drunks. true alcoholics don't go to bars because it's not financially efficient, and true alcoholics don't seem drunk when after even a bottle of liquor.

before we were even done with our smoke, the drunken team came stumbling back out of the bar. one of the girls toppled over and landed on the buccaneer's a-frame-- knocking it over and laying on it like an uncomfortable bed. it was particularly hilarious because she was so conservatively dressed.

"nope! this is nothing!" one of the guys shouted, "nothing at all! i've seen many people do this! don't worry!"

he was trying to make her feel better.

"i'm kidding," he told us, "i've never seen anyone do this in my entire life. she's drunk."

no kidding.

the intoxicated women was helped by her friends and one of them tried to convince her that perhaps a piggy-back ride would be the best bet. she, while leaning against the bar window, disagreed. this is what she said:

"no, no. i can drive."

nice. there were no cars. she meant she could walk. but it's amazing to know her brain, when in drunken rote-mode, finds itself forming sentences that might get her behind the wheel of a vehicle.

after they were gone, a homeless man began his panhandling scheme. i had no money. but travis gave him all the change he owned, and tyler gave him a penny.

"this isn't enough," the man spat, "i'm tryna get a drink!"

"you can walk into any bar and get free water," tyler explained.

"i don't want water!" the man shouted, "i want a fucking beer!"

and then that man walked up to tyler and threw the changed at his chest before walking away.

i dare say i have never seen something so rude, but travis reassured me it was not the first time a homeless man had expressed his elegant taste and rejected coins, or sandwiches on account that they didn't prefer tuna.

tyler was offended, picked up the change, and threw it back at the man as he walked away.

"excuse me," a passerby said as he approached us, "but did you just throw change at a homeless man?"

"yeah," tyler said, "but because he threw it at us. we gave him change and he said it wasn't enough, threw it at us and left. so we threw it back because... come on."

"you know that's really just unacceptable," the stranger continued, "you can't throw change at homeless people. you need to help them-- what you're doing is just wrong."

"what?" i asked, "no. we gave him change and he rejected it, yelled at us, and threw it in our face."

"it's just not right," the man repeated.

i'm not sure why he was getting involved, and i'm pretty sure we were being judged. it was almost as if he failed to hear the part about the homeless man taking our free money and throwing at us in a fit of elitism, and chose to only notice that we were young punkish kids seen tossing change at a down-n-out.

it really just makes me wonder what horrible things he's done in his life that he feels he needs to create such a balance in the world without fully understanding a situation.

shortly after, i left the bar. i was done with drunks, and i was done with the scene.

travis and tyler stayed for a bit more pool.

when they did finally come back to the apartment, travis was carrying part of a mattress and two jack-o-lanterns. tyler had a three-foot ashtray and a worried look.

it was one of those nights.

and, after travis carved the plastic jack-o-lantern into a wearable mask, we made our way through the tenderloin and toward a party.

i don't really know how to phrase this, but while that saturday was enjoyable it was not for me. the bar was full of idiots, the streets full of vomit and condoms, and the party was a party. i'm thankful that i now have the opportunity to go out with friends during normal go-out hours, but there is nothing amazing about roaming the streets plastered and sending a cornucopia of drunken text messages to other drunken friends.

but i'm glad i saw it; i'm glad i was one of those saturday douches. because it helped me realize i'm just not that kind of drunk. there just isn't any fun remembering (or trying to remember) my weekend and realizing it was only fun and adventurous because we were hammered and retarded.

if i were to walk into a lion's den and urinate on its face, i would have a great story too. or i'd be dead. but it doesn't mean i need to do that.

...that sentence makes a lot more sense in my head than it does in font.

maybe i'm just feeling too old for being a weekend jackass.

*cheesy music and slow motion zoom-in here.*

Aspiring Author Interview with Demitria Lunetta

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

I'm aspiring author, Demitria Lunetta. I'm represented by Katherine Boyle of Veritas Literary and we'll be submitting my first manuscript to publishers as soon as I finish my line edit.

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

My current WIP is In the After, a YA Dystopian novel. The hook line from my query sums up the premise pretty well:

Amy has not spoken in three years. Not since They arrived; creatures with incredible hearing, amazing swiftness, and a taste for human flesh. They hunt by sound and Amy has learned to survive in a world of silence.

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

We had to write a story in fourth grade about a wish. I decided my MC would wish for green hair (because that was secretly my wish). I had so much fun writing that story, I got a bit carried away with the plot. By the end, my poor MC was kicked out of school, grounded, and completely miserable.

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

Both. I always have a skeleton of what I want from a manuscript, but I've discovered that my characters sometimes have other plans.

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

I've been very lucky to have extremely supportive family and friends. It always helps when someone believes in you, even when you don't believe in yourself.

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

I love Margaret Atwood. I read The Handmaid's Tale in fifth grade and was amazed at the world Atwood created. It seemed so real. I also love Garth Nix, Nancy Farmer, and China Mieville.

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

I don't listen to music while I write, but I usually have the T.V. on for background noise.

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

I think my greatest strength is my imagination and how vividly I can picture characters and places. My greatest weakness is writing romantic scenes. They always come out soap opera-y at first.

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

I want to write. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do. Being published and well-known would be nice, but I really just want to be respected as a writer.

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

I think it's great. I prefer "real" books, but I'll get behind anything that gets people excited about reading. I love the fact that you can grab your e-reader (or phone) and read almost any book available.

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

I'm more of a big picture kind of girl and I tend to reflect on themes rather than individual sentences. I just finished reading Epitaph Road where almost all of the human male population has been wiped out by a deadly virus. It has a lot to do with human nature and our need to destroy, but also our want to create.

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

So many...and they're all YA sci-fi/fantasy. I just read Paranormalcy and loved it. Epitaph Road was great. Shipbreaker, Ash, and The Sky Inside, all very good.

What advice do you have for other aspiring authors out there?

Don't give up. It's as simple as that.

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

Think I mentioned them above...but Margaret Atwood, Garth Nix, and Nancy Farmer. Sorry China...if only I could save four!

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

My blog is demitrialunetta.blogspot.com and I post Mon, Wed, Fri, though you can find me lurking around the blogosphere on almost any day.

Grow Up and Get Down

the internet told me recently that there is a dolores park trio selling homemade cookies from the second floor of their edwardian apartment. and i think i said out loud, "i love san francisco."

in fact, i dare say this is exactly the kind of behavior that makes tourists love our city. the transamerica pyramid is great, and the golden gate bridge is pretty neat even though it's not gold or record-breakingly long-- but when it's never been those things that tourists truly enjoy. as a tour guide, i watched where the cameras were aimed and it was the naked cyclists with uncomfortable penises and frigid nipples; it was the bushman, frank chu, and the brown twins; tourists wanted to see protests, they wanted to see a man dressed as spider-man scale the side of a high-rise condominium. that want strange, but cute.

it's that "only in san francisco" thang they've always been drawn to.

and i absolutely love the fat cookies idea.


but after reading the short article over at foodbeast, i realized not everyone is as willing to have fun. there were great debates about laws regarding permits to sell food, health codes, and a gentle amount of smack-talking.

a commenter named OregonTrail had a lot to say. and his comments are about as fun and uplifting as the game his online handle is named after.

What about the *real* entrepreneur up the road, that actually worked hard and saved to open his own establishment, and actually went through the hassle and expense to get proper permits/licenses? I would understand if these were little kids, but they are grown adults, and just because they win some liberal popularity contest shouldn't allow them to bypass the "hassle", expense, and responsibility necessary to start a food business, cutting in front of the *real* entrepreneurs who are dedicated enough not to play naive and actually follow procedures to protect public interest.

Believe it or not, there is a reason that people trying to sell prepared food to the public need to follow a bare minimum inspection and permit procedure. There's nothing entrepreneurial about what they are doing, they just want to be held to the same standard as a child with a lemonade stand, and they should grow up a little. Just my .02 -.

firstly, i would pay two cents to never have to hear OregonTrail's thoughts on unorthodox cookie-sales again-- and that's twice the going rate of a good thought. usually, it's just a penny for your thoughts. so think about that.

amongst many sentences, i'm having a little trouble with the part where he writes, "There's nothing entrepreneurial about what they are doing, they just want to be held to the same standard as a child with a lemonade stand, and they should grow up a little." because if there truly is nothing entrepreneurial about their tactics, there should be no problem with what they're doing for the same reason there is nothing wrong with a child doing it. but, more importantly, i think what san francisco needs is for people to "grow up a little" less.

honestly, if you were walking around in a neighborhood and stumbled across a dangling sign that read, "$1 for a fresh baked cookie!" would you cross your arms and grow angry? would you pull the string to yell, "WHAT ABOUT THE REAL ENTREPRENEURS?!" and turn the bakers in to the health police?

shit, you don't even deserve a cookie if that's how you roll.

i'm going to make a trip out to fat cookies and hopefully they're still running. i'd like to thank them for remaining rad and lighthearted in a city where unemployment rates is the only thing growing up. we could use more of this: it's why i love san francisco, and it's why visitors end up moving here permanently.

also, i hope OregonTrail dies of dysentery.

Where I'll Be May 8th

Rammstein makes some of the greatest music around and like to burn things. 

That's all the reason I need.

I've been waiting for this for years; they generally don't tour North America. 

Non-Canonical Sunday Readings

This is the lamb that was slain.

This is the lamb that was silent.

This is the one who was born of Mary, 

that beautiful ewe-lamb.

This is the one who was taken from the flock, and was dragged to sacrifice,

and was killed in the evening,

and was buried at night,

the one who was not broken while on the tree,

who did not see dissolution while in the earth,

who rose up from the dead,

and who raised up humankind from the grave below.

This one was murdered. 

And where was he murdered?

In the very center of Jerusalem!

Why?

Because he had healed their lame,

and had cleansed their lepers,

and had guided their blind with light,

and had raised up their dead.

For this reason he suffered.

Somewhere it has been written in the law and prophets,

"They paid me back evil for good,

and my soul with barrenness,

plotting evil against me,

saying Let us bind this just man

because he is troublesome to us."

Why, O Israel, did you do this strange injustice?

(...)

You killed the one who made you to live,

Why did you do this, O Israel?

(...)

Nevertheless, Israel admits, I killed the Lord!

- Excerpt from "On the Passover", v. 72-74

On the Passover is a polemic exposition of the Old Testament story of the passover, written by Melito of Sardis (a city in Asia Minor) who wrote of Jesus as being the ultimate sacrificial lamb. It was written in the mid to late second century and carries with it the dubious honour of being the earliest surviving account of Christians charging the Jewish people with deicide!

PS: I have changed the title of this recurring segment from "Non-Canonical Sunday Wisdom" to "Non-Canonical Sunday Readings" for two reasons. Firstly, wisdom is subjective. More importantly, some of the texts that I wish to share (today's included) offer little to no wisdom (unless you happen to hate Jews and Judaism, which I do not).

Aspiring Author Interview with Josh Vogt

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

As it's an interview for aspiring authors, we'll leave that as an obvious answer. Let's run down the vitals: Josh Vogt. 27. Male. Denver resident, and general air-breather. I am an organ donor, and I am also made out of meat (points for those who get the reference!). I'm a voracious reader, mostly in the scifi/fantasy genres, which is also what I write. Most of my jobs since college have also had to do with writing or publishing. I was at Simon & Schuster for two years and got to see behind the curtain of a major publisher. I'm also a freelance copywriter, with the goal of being able to do that full-time alongside my fiction in the coming years. I signed on with an agent last year, Scott Hoffman from Folio Literary Management, and we're currently shopping an urban fantasy novel to publishers.

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

The one being shopped to publishers right now is Enter the Janitor, about a company of magical sanitation workers, to sum up the basic premise. The manuscript I'm currently drafting is Parasomnia, where a group of permanent insomniacs act as the border patrol between our realm and the dreaming one. 

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

I was 8. I attempted to write a scifi space opera, where a bunch of spaceship pilots attempt to overthrow an evil computer that ruled the galaxy. Got about a third into it and then couldn't figure out what happened next.

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

Definitely a plotter. I have a particular technique I learned early on from another author that I use for most drafts. The Snowflake Model. I wrote a bit about it here. It's difficult for me to just make things up on the fly. I need at least a loose outline from point A to Z, and then I figure out the specifics as I go along. It gives me mini-goals to hit and helps me know where the story is headed.

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

My parents greatly encouraged my writing, for starters. My mom is actually a journalist, editor, and author, so it's been fun having something to connect with beyond the usual mother/son dynamic. A couple of college professors were also highly encouraging of my desire to write, and I hope to someday be able to tell them exactly how big of an impact they made.

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

Quite a few. Neil Gaiman, Brandon Sanderson, Jim Butcher, to spotlight some bigger names. C.S. Lewis and Tolkien are also big factors in there. 

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

An eclectic mix. Really depends on the mood. Jazz to Celtic to Broadway tunes to movie scores. Sometimes I switch it up depending on the type of scene I'm working on, but pretty much anything is game except for country.

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

I feel like I get dialogue down pretty naturally, and I try to focus on making my writing as "visual" as possible. Past martial art experience definitely helps for any fight scenes. As far as weaknesses, I tend to forget to put emotional depth on the page and have to go back in and add it after the fact. I also overwrite, so most first-run revisions involve cutting a hefty portion of the wordcount. Anywhere from 10-25%.

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

Make a career out of it. The longterm goal is being a full-time writer, mixing my freelance copywriting with fiction while working from home (or the nearest bookstore/coffee shop). I'm not really a office/corporate-oriented person, so the sooner I escape from the cubicle maze the better. 

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

I love ebooks and the digital trends. Tons of potential there. I hardly think traditional print is going to go extinct or anything...at least not for a couple generations...but I want to take as much advantage of virtual platforms and distribution as I can. It's such a quickly evolving field, and I'm excited to see all the great innovation and advancements being made. We're barely scratching the surface, to use a cliche.

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

"I must say you have an amazing persistence of vitality, if not a presence of mind." This comes from Terry Pratchett's Carpe Jugulum, and is spoken by the character of Death. Pratchett is an author I consistently come back to. He always delivers solid laughs mixed with satirical insight, and even if you know the plot backwards and forwards, it doesn't lose its quality.

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

Joe Abercrombie's The Heroes is a good one, as is Midnight Riot, a UK urban fantasy release by Ben Aaronovitch. Patrick Rothfuss' The Wise Man's Fear is coming out soon, and if you haven't read The Name of the Wind, get to it quick! If you want more ideas, I post somewhat regular genre reviews, news, and the occasional author interview as the Speculative Fiction Examiner.

What advice do you have to other aspiring authors out there?

Persistence is a good quality to have, but only if you back it up by constantly learning and growing as a writer at the same time. Persistence without growth is just obstinacy. See this little bit I wrote about skulls and brick walls.

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

I'm a big fan of Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian. One of the few vampire novels that actually stands out from the crowd. Plus, it links back to Bram Stoker's original Dracula. Well worth a read. The Chronicles of Narnia would be a must, since I'd need something to read for bedtime stories. Also, Dan Simmons duology, Olympos and Ilium. You want the Trojan war on Mars? You got the Trojan war on Mars, and a pretty screwed up sci-fi tale besides.

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

Couple of options there. JRVogt.blogspot.com is where I keep things personal and update on my writing adventure. I'm also on Twitter @JRVogt. As a side project, I've recently launched Write-Strong.com, where I compile writing resources and tools that I've found useful and that other aspiring authors might be able to enjoy as well.

I hope these answers work well for the interview. All the best!

Josh Vogt 

This is About Philosophy

Aspiring Author Interview with Girl Friday

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

Hah, not so simple for me J I’m sticking with the Girl Friday moniker for now because I’m an international woman of mystery. Okay, to tell the truth, because when (hopefully!) I get published, I intend to use a pen name for various reasons, but I haven’t settled on one yet. So there’s not much point me putting my real name out there. I’m English and I write for children.

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

I'm currently polishing my Upper MG novel set in Victorian London. It's the tale of a 13-year-old orphan girl and involves tunnels, scientists, the Crimean War, monkeys, evil politicians, inventors and a touch of magic realism.

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

When I was small, I made a comic about a girl detective and got my Dad to print copies in his office. It was terrible, I’m hopeless at drawing.

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

I’m a plotter, I don’t know how pantsers do it! I write the first couple of chapters in a burst of creativity, but then I need to sit down and work out where the story’s going and if it’s enough to sustain a novel. I guess it’s because I write adventure tales for kids, which are very plot-focused.

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

I don’t think anyone ‘first’ encouraged me to write. But now that I’ve started I’ve had lots of support from family and friends.

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

I read widely and I’ve been inspired by everyone from Alice Walker, Tolstoy and Ovid to Philip Pullman and JK Rowling. But I don’t think there’s any one author who’s had a ‘significant’ influence. I was actually motivated to write my first novel after reading a bestselling adult thriller that I thought was awful - I thought ‘I can do better than that!’ Whether I can remains to be seen J

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

I enjoy all kinds of music, but I can’t listen to it when I write, it distracts me. But I love the birds that sing outside my window J

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

I’m still new to all this so I’m sure I have dozens of weaknesses that I don’t even know about yet! I definitely find plotting and structure hard at times. As for strengths, I think I have a good ear for cadence, and I find writing action scenes fun and easy so hopefully they read that way.

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

To get published, and for children to read my books and really enjoy them. That’s the main thing, isn’t it?

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

Personally I love ‘real’ books, but I can see the pros of Kindles, though I don’t plan to get one. I think one of the possible pros of e-readers is that it might get men to read more. Boys read less, but they love gadgetry!

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

I read Philip Reeve’s Mortal Engines recently and thought the first sentence was brilliant: ‘It was a dark, blustery afternoon in spring, and the city of London was chasing a small mining town across the dried-out bed of the old North Sea.’ I mean, wow. So much invention and intrigue and world-building all wrapped up in one sentence.

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

Diary of a Provincial Lady, which is a very witty novel written in the ‘30s. And some excellent writing books: Nancy Lamb’s Crafting Stories For Children and Joan Aiken’s The Way To Write For Children, plus children’s novels Mortal Engines and Eva Ibbotson’s Which Witch?

What advice do you have to other aspiring authors out there?

Read as many writer’s and agent’s blogs, and writing craft books as you can; also read scads of novels in your genre and dissect what works for you and what doesn‘t. That’s what I’ve been doing and I’ve learned so much.

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

Well, obviously Shakespeare’s works. After that… ugh, I can’t choose, there’s too many! So I guess I‘d sidestep novels and go for a history of the world. And finally all the Calvin and Hobbes books, because Bill Watterson is a genius and after an apocalypse I think we’ll need a bit of light relief

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

Please come and say hello at my blog: http://readingwritingandribaldry.blogspot.com/ or on Twitter: @Girl___Friday (three underscores)  I love meeting other writers!

***Are you an aspiring author willing to do an interview for my little blog? If so, click here.***

My Bart Ehrman Obsession Grows Exponentially with each Book Release

So I'm psyched that I can now pre-order...

Book Cover Description -- “We may never know what drove these people . . .to hide their own identity and to claim, deceitfully, that they were someone else. Their readers, had they known, would probably have called them liars and condemned what they did. But in their own eyes, their conscience may have been free from blame, and their motives may have been as pure as the driven snow. They had a truth to convey, and they were happy to lie in order to proclaim it.”—from Forged

It is often said, even by critical scholars who should know better, that “writing in the name of another” was widely accepted in antiquity. But New York Times bestselling author Bart D. Ehrman dares to call it what it was: literary forgery, a practice that was as scandalous then as it is today. In Forged, Ehrman’s fresh and original research takes readers back to the ancient world, where forgeries were used as weapons by unknown authors to fend off attacks to their faith and establish their church. So, if many of the books in the Bible were not in fact written by Jesus’s inner circle—but by writers living decades later, with differing agendas in rival communities—what does that do to the authority of Scripture?

Dr. Ehrman investigates ancient sources to:

• Reveal which New Testament books were outright forgeries.

• Explain how widely forgery was practiced by early Christian writers—and how strongly it was condemned in the ancient world as fraudulent and illicit.

• Expose the deception in the history of the Christian religion.

Ehrman’s fascinating story of fraud and deceit is essential reading for anyone interested in the truth about the Bible and the dubious origins of Christianity’s sacred texts.

Forged  has a release date of March 22nd, 2011. Expect a full review to follow shortly thereafter.

I Think I Overthink Things

this is an immediate ramble which will likely help no one. but i want to write it down before i forget that it happened in my brain.

i was just outside battling the two inner-me's, having a hard time determining who was who. usually i have a pretty basic "good side" and standard "bad side". but the lines tend to blur and get confusing when i'm thinking about more serious subjects.

the one i thought was the good side was saying things like "but don't give in to one side just because it's usually right." and then another voice said, "those are some fighting words."

and it's true: they were. they were [cleverly disguised] fighting words. the "good" side of my brain was trying to manipulate me into taking its side while feeling as though i'd done the better thing-- almost as if i hadn't taken a side at all. but manipulation is by no means a trait of the better side.

so maybe there was a third side, or maybe the good side has bad sides too.

as i was thinking about whether or not there was actually a correct answer to my problem, the right side of my head started feeling heavier. and i realized that i had been leaning my head toward the right slightly from the start.

then i realized i usually do.

i leaned it to the left to see what would happen. it felt floaty and refreshing. it also felt slightly unfamiliar, but the thoughts i began to think were very much from the good side-- if there is one.

it's also possible the entire experience was a meaningless self-fulfilling prophecy and only felt different because i wanted it to. and it's also possible the head-tilting experiment only existed to take my mind off my circular thoughts about what the most right thing to do actually was. or perhaps i've just gotten a very slight amount of sleep lately and it's costing the stability of my mind. if you're willing to accept that my mind sometimes is actually stable.

but, feeling that, i started to wonder which side i commonly leaned toward-- what way i sleep.

unfortunately, my alarm clock controls my sleep. i sleep facing my alarm clock; i sleep facing the spot in my room easiest connected to an electrical outlet.

currently that means i sleep on my left shoulder-- in other words, my brain is resting on the left most nights. i wonder if our sleeping position-- and therefore the position of our brain-- has anything to do with our moods and personalities.


have there been any studies on whether or not it has anything to do with our inclination to art or math? granted some people will say, "i sleep on my back" or "i sleep in a new position every night because i'm a free spirit", but some people will always say something. i've also heard that the whole "right brain" and "left brain" bit is just a mythical category and we all use both sides equally.

but i'd be curious to know if there is any correlation between sleeping sides and brain strengths.

also, i'd like to know if our personalities can be partly pre-determined by the type of mood our mothers were having during the pregnancy. like if they were in constant fights with their husband, would it affect the child? would the child have a likelier shot of growing up aggressive because of the chemicals flowing through the mother's brain and, therefore, through the child's body?

okay, good night.

The Weekend in Reverse: Part 1

last friday travis, travis, and i were headed to the usa hostel on post-- where our friend yuko was working/celebrating her 25th birthday. i hadn't been off work long and left the house without thinking about my bladder. i remembered to grab a road-beer-- and was proud to be able to afford the option of a road-beer.

but i was having a gentle pee-mergency in my body and could not wait to get inside the hostel to urinate properly. in fact, my anxious bladder got me past the hostel security much faster than both travises who did not have to pee. and had it not, i would've blamed the wetness on the rain, and the smell on the tenderloin.

anyway, the hostel was recently rated the #1 hostel in the united states-- complete with a semi-bar, pool table, smoking room, and an onslaught of french folk.

at first, it was a bit awkward because we not only knew no one but couldn't speak any of the languages circling us.

and also because i was the guy who had to ditch his friends before they'd even gotten inside in order to prevent pissing his pants.

after a while of standing and smoking and having no idea how to start talking to all the strangers, i decided to shout the most universally pleasant word one could shout at a hostel full of poor artist-type travelers:

"MARIJUANA!"

from there, conversation began.

though, i might have hung out with some of the swedish friends too long, because there was a moment later in the night when a man mistook me for swedish and, in turn, i mistook him for swedish. neither of us were swedish then, and to the best of my knowledge neither of us are today. but he approached me asking if i am a student at the academy of art and i told him i'm not. then he asked if i could speak swedish and i told him i could only speak english-- and not even very well. then it got awkward and i left.

i would've tried to save the conversation, but i was worried he wouldn't understand what i was saying unless i said whatever it was i had planned in swedish. and that wasn't happening.

a few of our friends showed up, and simon came by after he got off work around 11pm. but in the end, when liquor had thoroughly infested our blood streams, a lot of people seemed to get less friendly. no one was outwardly rude (except for the spanish people who pretended that cerrado was not a word after i heard them use it and asked "como se dice cerrado en ingles?"), but it did seem that groups clung to each other the drunker they got instead of a normal party where everyone is anxious to meet one another.

i had hoped that being surrounded by people from all around the world would've been more interesting than it was. some people were friendly, but most conversation seemed to be locked in a "where are you from" sort of path. and only a select few of the groups wanted to really engage in mind-blowing conversation.

but, i did run into the-man-who-was-not-swedish a second time. and this time, he was speaking italian with simon. and i realized there was likely a misunderstanding when we'd first met.

he ended up being italian, and one of the coolest people at the hostel. he and i preached about art back and forth and his thoughts on the purpose of comedy were something my ears could use hearing more often. i snagged his business card and checked out his website despite his numerous warnings that "it's pretty crappy and i have better stuff that's not up yet."

i liked it.

on the way out of the party, we ran into the silver man from fisherman's wharf-- unpainted, sipping an o.e.-- and had a pretty alright conversation with him about daft punk, kraftwerk, and weather forecasts. but it was 3 or 4am and my brain had already fallen asleep long before. i mostly wanted to get home to sleep and wake up for saturday.

i suppose i'm glad i went. by no means did i have a bad time. i think i had just expected it to be 5x more epic than it was-- i'll blame that one on movies-- but i still got good and drunk and hung out with friends in a chaotic environment. and that's always nice.

but this friday-- today-- i might nap. i need it.

though i have a feeling i'll be convinced otherwise tonight.

Aspiring Author Interview with Misha Gericke

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

 

Not all that simple really. I am me. And just when I know who that is, I surprise myself.

 

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

 

I am mostly busy with Doorways, a YA Fantasy epic that will be book 1 in a series of 4. It involves the lives of five people. There's a continent at the edge of war, and one of those people might just cause everything to fracture.

 

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

 

Hmmm... I don't know about writing, but I was creating stories since kindergarten. My cousin, brother and I played like that. Didn't really help us to fit in with the hop-scotch crowd. I think the story might have involved, Peter Pan, Robin Hood... or something like that.

 

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

 

Pantser. Until my rewrite. I had to create a plot to keep the stories in some semblance of an order.

 

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

 

My Gran. She writes too and taught me everything I know.

 

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

 

My Gran, who got me to write in the first place.

CS Lewis, who inspired my story.

Tolkien, who is the master.

 

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

 

Muse. Enough said.

 

Seriously. They should be given their own genre.

 

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

 

Strengths: Dialogue and Characterisation.

Weaknesses: Weak Verbs and (sigh) adverbs.

 

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

 

Right now, the goal is to get the rewrite done by 30 April. I hope to be ready to query by February next year. I'll see where I'll get then.

 

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

 

I think it is wonderful that more writers can find their audences now. Still, I think that the Publishing Houses should still have a place - even if they need to redefine it.

 

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

Hmmm...

"He's a good boy..." Reiterated by said boy's mother after she stabbed a cop in the back. Chilling, when read in context.

 

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

 

Bodies Left Behind by Jeffrey Deaver (and/or his Lincoln Rhyme series)

The Alibi Man by Tami Hoag

 

I've been into murder mysteries and/or procedurals recently. Now I've moved into the classics.

 

What advice do you have to other aspiring authors out there?

 

Stop looking at other authors. Everyone's road is different and you need to keep your eyes on yours.

 

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

 

The Bible

Lord of the Rings

Lord of the Flies

 

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

Mostly through my blog: http://sylmion.blogspot.com

But I also tweet @MishaMFB

 

Thanks a lot. :-)

***Are you an aspiring author willing to do an interview for my little blog? If so, click here.***

Two Worlds Collide

i couldn't do it. i hung up the phone.

"why did you hang up? i told you to leave her a message if she didn't answer," my boss shouted, "we need to make sure she knows we delivered her order."

"this is going to sound bad-- i already know," i said, "but i hung up because she said her last name in the outgoing voice-message."

"so?"

"do you know what her last name is?" i asked.

my boss has cyborg's brain, and i know he knows every single client by name, and company-- some by phone number, even. there is no way he didn't know this client's full name. but there is also no way i was the only one who found it unbearable.

"yeah," i said, "well, i panicked when i heard it. i was pretty sure i'd laugh in the message and that's worse than just calling back and leaving a message now that i'm calm."

"why is her last name funny?"

really? i know i tend to see things more immaturely than others, but this one was a freebie. i couldn't be alone.

"because it' hamdouche," i asked.

he mostly stared blankly.

"you know, like a tool for cleaning pig vaginas? or a really theatrical asshole?"

he continued to stare, but started to tilt his head the same way a puppy does when it's unsure of a noise.

i think i was watching his mind get blown.

"oh my god," he said, "i never noticed that."

"how can you not notice that? hamdouche? really?" i laughed, "oh man, and it's even spelled "hamdouche". i would change my name."

"wow," he said again, "it's farsi. it means "shoulder to shoulder" like two people who bear the same responsibilities. you know, they walk side by side and carry the same weight. sort of like business partners or trustworthy brothers."

i think i was probably making the mind-blown face after hearing that sentence.

"huh," i muttered, "that sounds a lot better than what it means in english."

before i clocked out, he stopped me to laugh about "hamdouche." and we both agreed that it was a brilliant moment of discovery in two directions. how, by speaking farsi, my boss had seen the last name as nothing but a farsi word. and how my lack of cultural linguistics, combined with my high level of immaturity, lead me to see it differently.

and then we traded knowledge.

and it was magical.

Aspiring Author Interview with Jenni Merritt

Let's start off with something simple. Who are you?

I am Jenni, of course.  I am a stay-at-home mom of two little guys, and try to find time to write amidst their extreme energy and my utter lack of it.  Right now I live in good old Oregon state, and never plan on leaving the Pacific Northwest.  I love the green too much.  When I am not writing, I am procrastinating by taking and editing photos, reading stacks of books, and watching too much tv.

Could you tell us a little bit about your work in progress?

The one currently attempting to suck away all my free time is a YA Dystopian titled Prison Nation.  It was my NaNoWriMo 2010 project, that I successfully “won” with.

In a nice, super summary, its about a future America that has barricaded itself in and set mega-strict laws with harsh punishments.  Around 80% of the population is incarcerated at all times, those who are born into the prisons are raised in them until they turn 18.  That’s where you meet Millie 942B, and join her in her experience of being released and coming to find out that the truth truly is, and what is honestly worth fighting for.

What is the first story you remember writing? What was it about?

I do believe it went somewhere along the lines of “I love my cat”  I was about three, and it is still my prized work.  After that I do remember a crazy long short story I created, all about the Wizard of Oz, but totally backwards and crazy.  I think it was in second grade.  The only reason I kept writing it was to crack up my fellow bus riders, and I seriously think about finishing it someday.

Are you more of a “plotter” or a “pantser”?

I am most definitely a pantser.  The idea of plotting, planning, outlining and webbing literally sends my mind spinning and my desire to write hides in a dark corner and cries.  I get a general idea of what I want, then go.  Life isn’t planned out, why should my writing be?  Not to mention, its just much more fun that way.

All writers need encouragement. Who first encouraged you to write, and who is it that encourages you today?

I have to go with the cliché answer, but it is so true: My parents.  I am very lucky, in that both of my parents have done nothing but encourage my love of writing since I can remember.  My mom used to sit with me on ferry rides home (we lived on a small island in Washington state) and helped me make up crazy stories one noun at a time.  I don’t think she realizes how much those moments still mean to me.  My parents helped wake up my mind.  My imagination hasn’t stopped since.

Today, I am even more lucky.  My family, my amazing husband, along with close friends and the awesome writing community I have discovered really keep me going.  Without Kimmie (my NaNo war friend) and Keary Taylor (awesome fellow crazy writer), and Jessie with all her red marks, all of which constantly yell at me to keep going, I think I would still very much so be a “one day novelist.”

Which authors have had a significant influence on your writing?

I have a crazy love affair with the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind.  Its one of those series that somehow struck a cord in me, and managed to pull me through some really rough patches of my life.  I would love to hear someday that my writing did the same for someone else.  Along with that, I do look up to most everything Orson Scott Card writes.  He rocks, enough said.

What music, if any, do you enjoy listening to while you write?

It really depends on what the mood of the scene is that I am writing.  I bounce between Secondhand Serenade, Tatu, Within Temptation, Dave Matthews Band… along with some amazing David Lanz instrumentals.  Then my post writing recovery music is always: Mika.

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses as a writer?

Oh man.  Are you really going to make me acknowledge these?

Strengths.  My sister-in-law recently told me that I come up with amazing ideas.  And that if I ever come to find out that I suck at writing, I should be an idea person.  I will take that as a compliment.  Aside from that, I have been told I am good at painting the picture, that people can truly see the scene in their minds.  Oh, and sarcasm too.  I excel in sarcasm.

Weaknesses.  Wow.  As much as I love this art and know inside that I am good at it, I really do lack in confidence.  That is something I really need to work on… Also, dialogue.  I never seem to get it right.  He said, she said, all the quotation marks and conversations.  I need major classes in coping with that.

What do you hope to achieve with your writing?

To be perfectly honest, I don’t want utter fame.  As amazing as it is for those folks like Rowling and Meyers, and as very welcome as that income would be, that isn’t my goal.  I want to get my thoughts out there.  My theory is that we write to live forever.  If I can get my stories into that handful of heads and let them escape like I have with so many books, I will be happy.

What was once traditionally a print medium is now rapidly branching out into many digital formats. What do you think of this trend?

Ebooks.  Huh.  Well, to be nice first, I do see them as a great opportunity to get your books out further and faster than ever before.  I think even more people are reading now that they can just click a button and the book appears on their screen.  I do not own a Kindle.  Or a Nook.  Or even a smarty-pants phone.  And I do not see myself ever owning any of those in the future.  I love my books.  I love holding them, turning the pages, smelling them (yes, smelling them.  They smell amazing.)  It really is sad to see so many turning away from our paper-bound friends.  My one escape I take every few weeks is into the aisles of a bookstore, and years from now you can plan on still seeing me hiding there with my stacks of yummy paperbacks.

What was the last sentence that you had to re-read over and over again because of its awesomeness? What struck you about it?

I have been reading so many books, blogs, tips and tricks lately everything has bled together.  But there is one sentence from Terry Goodkind series that is repeated through out that is always in the back of my mind, every day.  “Your life is yours alone.  Rise up and live it.”  It is too easy to forget that, and reading it in print surrounded by the epic characters and their struggling fight made me realize that it was something I should never forget.

What book(s) have you recently read that you would recommend to the readers of this blog?

Lately I have been trying to read books that are in the genre that my WIP has settled itself.  Birthmarked by Caragh O'Brien was a good read.  Along with The Well by A.J. Whitten.  And of course I have to mention my good friend Keary Taylor’s book Branded.

What advice do you have to other aspiring authors out there?

You can do it.  Hey, don’t argue.  Yes, you can do it.  I spent forever wanting to finish one of the thoughts in my head, and never got past chapter five.  Just buckle down, slap yourself silly, and do it.  If you love it, and want it, it will happen if you just let it.  And when you type that last sentence… well, I will let you see how that feels yourself.  Oh, and caffeine.  Lots of it.

An apocalypse destroys the entirety of human literature, apart from the work of three authors that you can magically save with your wizardry – what do you save from imminent destruction?

1. The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind (Mostly due to my absolute love of it and how I could not live without the ability to reread it whenever I can.)

2. Harry Potter, all of them of course.  We all need a little magic…

3. The Bible.  As much as everything it says is debated and stretched and interpreted, it is truly monumental in who we are.

Our time is at an end. For our curious readers, how can we follow your progress?

Follow me!  *skips away*

Blog:  http://jennimerritt.blogspot.com

FB:  http://www.facebook.com/jennimerrittwriting

Website:  www.JenniMerritt.com

***Are you an aspiring author willing to do an interview for my little blog? If so, click here.***

Breakfast at Hitler's

the worst thing you can do is hand me a microphone during the time when the coffee has yet to kick in and i'm not entirely sure if i'm awake or if i'm in the lawnmower man.

but a good way to trick me into taking the mic is by promising free bacon and eggs.

earlier in the week, my boss told me he wanted me to attend a business networking meeting as his spokesperson. this meeting would include me dressing nicely, and trying to charm business-folk into becoming clients via seven-minute pitch. and waking up at 6am.

the meeting was at schroeder's, which seemed to be a german bar-restaurant hybrid, and i arrived too early.

"doesn't it remind you of springtime for hitler?" a random old lady asked.

i ignored her because i was still frightened by the fact schroeder's was not providing free coffee with the free breakfast-- just tea.

"you know, that mel brooks movie?" she asked, while poking me in the elbow.

"the producers," i told her, "that's what the movie is called."

"this whole place reminds me of hitler," she went on, "we should all sing springtime for hitler before the day is over. look at these murals!"

there were pre-wwii paintings spattered across the walls, but 6am is too early to discuss 1930's artwork, hitler, or musicals. i just tried to keep ignoring her while stealing as much bacon as possible.

"i'm jewish," she exclaimed, "so i can have this one. it's all we have. there's only 2% of us left now. so we have springtime for hitler and we can sing it, and we can laugh, and everyone else is left out."

"i'm not sure i follow," i mumbled, "but as long as you're laughing."

the little lady left me to my bacon, and moved on to ask another business networker about his thoughts on a hitler sing-along.

i know my boss could not have warned me that there would be an old jewish woman with the social skills of a cat-lady, but he really didn't tell me a whole lot of anything beyond the free bacon. i had asked what i'd need to do when i arrived at the meeting and he told me i was going to talk about our company-- but he didn't elaborate. when i asked what the general age demographic would be, he told me this:

"stop asking so many questions! you're good at bullshitting: you'll be fine!"

for the record, i really only asked two questions. and one of them shouldn't count because it should've been answered without my asking.

so.

i sat with my breakfast, occasionally introducing myself to other attendees as they entered-- mostly because the general demographic turned out to be more specific than general, and it was specifically late-middle-aged white business men and women. there were no young people, no seeming artists, and no weirdos. other than the lady who really wanted to sing springtime for hitler.

the first speaker was a lady from austria (and i caught the jewish lady seethe), she informed us that "austria" is not where kangaroos come from. and then told us that we may be unaware of her past as a go-go dancer. then she provided pictures to prove that she had once danced in a tiny bikini top and shiny metallic pants at clubs across the world. and then she segued into her pitch as a marketing consultant. she segued poorly.

before she was done, she handed us each a ruler-- it was 12 inches long, wooden, and had her company logo printed across it.

"this is not for measuring," she said, "no. this is for a little spanking!"

was i actually the only normal person in the room?

after the kinky austrian marketing consultant, we all heard from a public relations man. he was charming-- as i would've hoped-- and told us of his various tactics, successes, and knowledge of dog-breeds. i think he may have only mentioned the dog-thing to get us to laugh, but it was still slightly more professionally implemented when compared to the option of go-go dancing.

when it was my turn to speak, i realized i had absolutely nothing prepared. my mind had been dwelling on the lack of coffee and the over-abundance of weirdos.

"thank you for having me," i started, "this is my first time here, but i really appreciate the free bacon."

the crowd laughed. good.

"i recognize some of you from our building," i continued, "but for those of you i've never met, i want to explain what me and my team do."

and then i sort of realized i had no idea how to put what we do into words. some of the words that went through my head were accurate, but extremely boring-- and that didn't help either. so i just paused for a while.

"if you can imagine the over-achieving older brother of kinkos, that is probably close to what we are," i said, "except not mean."

that one didn't seem to make sense to anyone.

"look," i said, "as someone who has never been here, i cannot get over how many documents and business cards i've seen pass around the room-- and it's only been thirty minutes-- well, we specialize in those sorts of prints. and not just that: we engrave, emboss, we do litigation, perfect-binds, velo-binds, coil-binds, and just the other day we shipped nearly 2,000lbs of custom-made binders to our visa clients in singapore. we're kind of a big deal-- and there's not much we can't do."

they liked that.

"i mean, name something. what would you like to see made for your office? anything at all."

"what about themography business cards?"

"oh, those are great!" i said, "and yes, we do them. we also do foil prints, if that's your thing."

"what's your turn around time like?"

"the best thing to do is check yelp," i said, "because you won't believe me. but i'll tell you now that if you've got an important order, we'll just stay open late and finish it for you. be reasonable about that one though, because i already work 55 hours a week."

everyone seemed happy enough, and i wasn't sure how to end the speech-- the 7-minute buzzer had not gone off, and so i tried the only other thing i knew to do.

"does anyone else have anything they'd like to ask?"

the crazy jewish lady stood up.

"oh, it's springtime, for hitler and germany!" she sang, "deustchland is happy and gay..."

she looked around to see if anyone else would join in. she had a horrible singing voice. and, by the looks of most people, i was not the only person she had approached before the meeting to discuss how she felt the restaurant-pub resembled a hitler hangout.

"there is going to be a precipitous downfall in financial times, march 23rd," she stated sternly, "we are headed to bad times."

and then she sat down. she was an astrologist. for real, that is her job and this was her marketing.

after the business networking experience i was very concerned that i may have still been laying in my bed, walking around in a lucid dream. but, to the best of my knowledge, all of that actually happened and i was actually conscious.

anyway, i strolled into work after finally grabbing some coffee and quietly went to file some invoices. i needed to sort of readjust after everything, and invoicing always needs to get done anyway.

"so how did it go?" my boss asked.

"it went well" i said quickly, "hey, so i have a question about this invoice..."

SUBJECT AVERTED.

p.s. - if you're starving, and feeling risky, you can easily walk into schroeder's at 7am on wednesday and eat the free breakfast. as long as you're dressed nicely no one is going to be the wiser. till they ask who you work for.

p.p.s. - i personally recommend that you do not try the above p.s.